MamaPop™

Tonight's Liveblogging Dose of Rat-Eating Awesomeness is Brought To You By The Letter V

I wasn't too much older than my kids are now when I had one of the great formative experiences of my youth: the original broadcast of the miniseries V in 1983. To call it awesome was to understate the nature of awesomeness — giant spaceships, alien subterfuge, the Beastmaster hisself fighting for the forces of good, and HOT ALIEN BABES WHO EAT RATS. For those of us who sat rapt with attention for night after night after night of this true miniseries event (remember when they had those? and it actually meant something?) watching this stuff unfold, it was life-changing stuff.

Liveblogging "The Bachelorette" Finale and the Death of Love

So here's the thing: my wife is forcing me to watch the grand finale of The Bachelorette, and I'm pretty fucking horrified about it. Why? Good lord... is there anything in this show not worth being horrified about? Our pal Snarky Amber gave me plenty of good reason to avoid this experience, but as I've temporarily lost custody of the remote control - and, therefore, my manhood - I have no choice but to go with it

First off, there's dude #1: Ed. Let's be honest: Ed is a weenie. I don't know jack about him other than what I'm being forced to watch, but dollars to donuts Ed is the guy who's spent his life being "the best friend:" the too-sensitive, squidgy-around-the-edges teddy bear with a heart of grape jelly who beautiful girls have used as a warm, welcoming and unthreatening shoulder to cry on since the moment he first hit puberty.

Online Media, Social Networking Changing How We Watch TV

Today, I return to the establishment of higher learning where I work and study after a full week of sloth. I would like to say I did only things that engaged my mind, body and spirit — read classic literature, did Iyengar yoga or learned to rock climb. But those would be lies.

No, poppets. I watched RuPaul's Drag Race with Miss Banshee. And we LAUGHED and LAUGHED and made snarky comments about Shannel's big ego and Jade's big cock. What's so special about watching TV and wise-crackin' with your best girlfriend? Well, it's kinda different if one of you resides in New Jersey, whilst the other represents Washington State. Yet watch together we do, and it's all thanks to the magic of the internets and Logo Online, which has the entire season of Drag Race available online.

Liveblogging: Anna Nicole Autopsy Results

The results are coming any minute now. Reporters are camped out at the site of the press conference as the world awaits the truth about the cause and manner of death of Anna Nicole Smith. Will the results clear Howard K Stern of any suspicion in having a role Anna Nicole's death? Or implicate him in some sort of foul play?
See the comments for a play-by-play of the news conference.

At 10:30am EST, Dr. Joshua Perper, the S. Florida medical examiner we've all come to know (and love... or is that just me?) will formally announce the actual cause of death of Anna Nicole Smith.

No, we're not morbid weirdos. It's just that there has been SO much speculation in the past six weeks and even a supposed leak concerning what may have caused Smith's untimely demise that the official final word on the matter is newsworthy.

So...tune into MamaPop at 10:15am EST or anytime today to discuss!

* A continually updated, running commentary on the broadcast in real-time (hit refresh as necessary)*

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The night has come. Hold onto your sombreros, folks.

And for the record: I watched both The Departed AND Babel today, so needless to say I'M PUMPED!

BTW, the voting for our Oscars Challenge has been closed since 5pm today, so to those of you who tried to slip a ballot in after that I can only say: YOU SNOOZE YOU LOSE, MAN!

8:00: Oh, I guess the telecast doesn't actually begin until 8:30 (?). Ah well, its never to early to start drinkin'

8:04: Nicole Kidman needs to eat a freakin' sammich

8:06: Who is the black Liberace dude?

8:07: YAY STEVE CARRELL!

8:10: What year was it that dogs became fashion accessories, exactly?

Yep, that just about covers it.

Festivities will commence here tomorrow at 8pm EST! WOOT!

And don't forget to submit your ballot for the Mamapop 2007 Oscars Challenge! PRIZES, people! EXCLA-FUCKIN-MATION POINT!

Okay, I'm done shouting. Until tomorrow night, of course, when I'll spend three hours screaming at the tv nonstop. MY CAPS LOCK POWERS ARE BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION.

Even though most years I haven't had much emotional investment in either team, the Super Bowl and I have always gotten along well. The last time I was really interested in the game itself was 2000, when the St. Louis Rams were there -- led by Kurt Warner, who happened to go to my high school. My husband and I went to a Super Bowl party that year, and because I was 8 months pregnant at the time, I was given one of the best seats in the house and had people constantly bringing me food. I think I gained the last 10 pounds of my pregnancy that day.

Today, we're watching the Super Bowl at home -- just me, my husband, and our two sons. And now that I've had my quick refresh on how many downs in a series, and the difference between offsides and illegal motion, I'm all set. I'm rooting for the Bears, just because I have ties to Chicago and a few Bears fans in my family. I'll probably be more entertained by the commercials than I am by the game, but if you want to talk football, we can definitely talk football.

5:38 - Salesgenie.com - I think they just spent their entire annual budget on a commercial. Who are they?

5:40 - Jadore, on the other hand, has gotten a buttload of ads. A product for women with ads targeted to men....interesting.

5:43 - I just put my son's sippy cup in a beer koozie. Somebody call Meredith Vieira. Oh, and it looks like Salesgenie.com is sponsoring the pre-game show. Wow.

5:48 - Gloria Estefan gets to introduce Cirque de Soliel, while Billy Joel gets the national anthem and Prince gets halftime. Miami kind of gave her the shaft, huh?

Maybe she'll get more than this.

5:57 - Combos: BEST COMMERCIAL EVER.

6:02 - Okay, this is what I love best about TV sports -- the fabulous, emotional montages. Excellent stuff.

6:10 - More montage-y goodness!

6:17 - Billy Joel. NOT lip-synching. Good for him.

6:21 - Jessica Simpson, you are better at commercials than anything else you have done so far. Stick with it, girlfriend.

6:22 - To recap so far: Pre-game entertainment - excellent. National anthem: not bad. Moving Montages: oh, so excellent. Commercials: eh, okay, hope they get a LOT better.

* A continually updated, running commentary on the broadcast in real-time (hit refresh as necessary)*

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

So Amanda and I were emailing today (part four frillion and two of the non-stop tantrum I've been throwing since the Palladinos left Gilmore Girls in the hands of some dirty typewriter surrender monkeys), and she informed me that the Rumors That Be report that this show might actually be back for an 8th season after all.

ANOTHER SEASON? Jesus. I've gone on record as swearing to go down with the ship, but another season? That's like going down with the ship, washing up on a deserted island, and then starving to death after you run out of coconuts.

Sigh. Okay, it's showtime. Let us all gather together around this little bonfire I've managed to build (Wilson the volleyball helped), and support each other by reminiscing about the days before this show went totally off the rails. And peanut butter. God, I would totally fuck a has-been musician for some peanut butter.

Its another big evening for us, my pretties! American Idol Birmingham auditions AND Gilmore Girls (the former being helmed by this season's AI mainstay Tracey, the latter being liveblogged by everyone's favorite GG fanatic Amy), both covered in full here starting here at 8pm EST (and running until we all collectively lose our will to live type). Get your momtinis mixed and cozy up to the teevee with us for what will doubtless be an evening of snarktastic fun! See ya'll then!

* A continually updated, running commentary on the broadcast in real-time (hit refresh as necessary)*

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Okay, disclaimer: I have not watched American Idol since the season Fantasia won, and even then I think I'd wandered away after...(checks Wikipedia for the name of that guy I liked...George Huff! Aw, poor George Huff)...yeah, after George Huff was voted off.

I cannot stand glory notes, Christina Aguilera Jazz Hands and Dorky White Non-Threatening Torch-Song-Singing Boys. And I hate what passes for "rock and/or roll" in AmericanIdolLand. So basically, this show annoys with almost every fiber of my being, but hot damn, I do love these audition episodes.

Also, an update on the MamaPop American Idol Drinking Game: Everybody's suggestions were so good, I'm not sure I can choose an official list of cues. Dawg, you made it your own, Ryan Seacrest sexuality zingers, that fucking Edwin McCain song...there are just too many to choose from. So the only guideline for playing along at home? DRINK UNTIL IT STOPS HURTING.

Are we ready? Okay. Let's do this thang...

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

8:02: Well. Teenage Wasteland? Either somebody has never actually listened to these lyrics or else maybe they kind of hate their job.

8:03: Seacrest: "We'll journey together!" Oh man, we are going to need a LOT MORE SHUT THE FUCK UP.

8:04: Oh, Prince. So very unfortunate, really.

8:05: Okay, the child just changed the channel. He...does not like Jewel very much.

8:07: "Jewel is your favorite artist? Guess what! She's inside! This was totally not staged at all!"

8:07: Wait, did Simon just call her "Sweetheart?" In a non-snotty way? Did Paula slip him some pills?

8:08: Oh no. No. No no no. Make it stop.

8:09: I AM SOBER. HELP ME.

Reminder: Liveblog + Open Thread for Anna Nicole Autopsy Results

At 10:30am EST, Dr. Joshua Perper, the S. Florida medical examiner we've all come to know (and love... or is that just me?) will formally announce the actual cause of death of Anna Nicole Smith.

No, we're not morbid weirdos. It's just that there has been SO much speculation in the past six weeks and even a supposed leak concerning what may have caused Smith's untimely demise that the official final word on the matter is newsworthy.

So...tune into MamaPop at 10:15am EST or anytime today to discuss!

* A continually updated, running commentary on the broadcast in real-time (hit refresh as necessary)*

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The night has come. Hold onto your sombreros, folks.

And for the record: I watched both The Departed AND Babel today, so needless to say I'M PUMPED!

BTW, the voting for our Oscars Challenge has been closed since 5pm today, so to those of you who tried to slip a ballot in after that I can only say: YOU SNOOZE YOU LOSE, MAN!

8:00: Oh, I guess the telecast doesn't actually begin until 8:30 (?). Ah well, its never to early to start drinkin'

8:04: Nicole Kidman needs to eat a freakin' sammich

8:06: Who is the black Liberace dude?

8:07: YAY STEVE CARRELL!

8:10: What year was it that dogs became fashion accessories, exactly?

Yep, that just about covers it.

Festivities will commence here tomorrow at 8pm EST! WOOT!

And don't forget to submit your ballot for the Mamapop 2007 Oscars Challenge! PRIZES, people! EXCLA-FUCKIN-MATION POINT!

Okay, I'm done shouting. Until tomorrow night, of course, when I'll spend three hours screaming at the tv nonstop. MY CAPS LOCK POWERS ARE BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION.

Even though most years I haven't had much emotional investment in either team, the Super Bowl and I have always gotten along well. The last time I was really interested in the game itself was 2000, when the St. Louis Rams were there -- led by Kurt Warner, who happened to go to my high school. My husband and I went to a Super Bowl party that year, and because I was 8 months pregnant at the time, I was given one of the best seats in the house and had people constantly bringing me food. I think I gained the last 10 pounds of my pregnancy that day.

Today, we're watching the Super Bowl at home -- just me, my husband, and our two sons. And now that I've had my quick refresh on how many downs in a series, and the difference between offsides and illegal motion, I'm all set. I'm rooting for the Bears, just because I have ties to Chicago and a few Bears fans in my family. I'll probably be more entertained by the commercials than I am by the game, but if you want to talk football, we can definitely talk football.

5:38 - Salesgenie.com - I think they just spent their entire annual budget on a commercial. Who are they?

5:40 - Jadore, on the other hand, has gotten a buttload of ads. A product for women with ads targeted to men....interesting.

5:43 - I just put my son's sippy cup in a beer koozie. Somebody call Meredith Vieira. Oh, and it looks like Salesgenie.com is sponsoring the pre-game show. Wow.

5:48 - Gloria Estefan gets to introduce Cirque de Soliel, while Billy Joel gets the national anthem and Prince gets halftime. Miami kind of gave her the shaft, huh?

Maybe she'll get more than this.

5:57 - Combos: BEST COMMERCIAL EVER.

6:02 - Okay, this is what I love best about TV sports -- the fabulous, emotional montages. Excellent stuff.

6:10 - More montage-y goodness!

6:17 - Billy Joel. NOT lip-synching. Good for him.

6:21 - Jessica Simpson, you are better at commercials than anything else you have done so far. Stick with it, girlfriend.

6:22 - To recap so far: Pre-game entertainment - excellent. National anthem: not bad. Moving Montages: oh, so excellent. Commercials: eh, okay, hope they get a LOT better.

* A continually updated, running commentary on the broadcast in real-time (hit refresh as necessary)*

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

So Amanda and I were emailing today (part four frillion and two of the non-stop tantrum I've been throwing since the Palladinos left Gilmore Girls in the hands of some dirty typewriter surrender monkeys), and she informed me that the Rumors That Be report that this show might actually be back for an 8th season after all.

ANOTHER SEASON? Jesus. I've gone on record as swearing to go down with the ship, but another season? That's like going down with the ship, washing up on a deserted island, and then starving to death after you run out of coconuts.

Sigh. Okay, it's showtime. Let us all gather together around this little bonfire I've managed to build (Wilson the volleyball helped), and support each other by reminiscing about the days before this show went totally off the rails. And peanut butter. God, I would totally fuck a has-been musician for some peanut butter.

Its another big evening for us, my pretties! American Idol Birmingham auditions AND Gilmore Girls (the former being helmed by this season's AI mainstay Tracey, the latter being liveblogged by everyone's favorite GG fanatic Amy), both covered in full here starting here at 8pm EST (and running until we all collectively lose our will to live type). Get your momtinis mixed and cozy up to the teevee with us for what will doubtless be an evening of snarktastic fun! See ya'll then!

* A continually updated, running commentary on the broadcast in real-time (hit refresh as necessary)*

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Okay, disclaimer: I have not watched American Idol since the season Fantasia won, and even then I think I'd wandered away after...(checks Wikipedia for the name of that guy I liked...George Huff! Aw, poor George Huff)...yeah, after George Huff was voted off.

I cannot stand glory notes, Christina Aguilera Jazz Hands and Dorky White Non-Threatening Torch-Song-Singing Boys. And I hate what passes for "rock and/or roll" in AmericanIdolLand. So basically, this show annoys with almost every fiber of my being, but hot damn, I do love these audition episodes.

Also, an update on the MamaPop American Idol Drinking Game: Everybody's suggestions were so good, I'm not sure I can choose an official list of cues. Dawg, you made it your own, Ryan Seacrest sexuality zingers, that fucking Edwin McCain song...there are just too many to choose from. So the only guideline for playing along at home? DRINK UNTIL IT STOPS HURTING.

Are we ready? Okay. Let's do this thang...

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

8:02: Well. Teenage Wasteland? Either somebody has never actually listened to these lyrics or else maybe they kind of hate their job.

8:03: Seacrest: "We'll journey together!" Oh man, we are going to need a LOT MORE SHUT THE FUCK UP.

8:04: Oh, Prince. So very unfortunate, really.

8:05: Okay, the child just changed the channel. He...does not like Jewel very much.

8:07: "Jewel is your favorite artist? Guess what! She's inside! This was totally not staged at all!"

8:07: Wait, did Simon just call her "Sweetheart?" In a non-snotty way? Did Paula slip him some pills?

8:08: Oh no. No. No no no. Make it stop.

8:09: I AM SOBER. HELP ME.

Liveblogging The 2007 Oscars

* A continually updated, running commentary on the broadcast in real-time (hit refresh as necessary)*

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The night has come. Hold onto your sombreros, folks.

And for the record: I watched both The Departed AND Babel today, so needless to say I'M PUMPED!

BTW, the voting for our Oscars Challenge has been closed since 5pm today, so to those of you who tried to slip a ballot in after that I can only say: YOU SNOOZE YOU LOSE, MAN!

8:00: Oh, I guess the telecast doesn't actually begin until 8:30 (?). Ah well, its never to early to start drinkin'

8:04: Nicole Kidman needs to eat a freakin' sammich

8:06: Who is the black Liberace dude?

8:07: YAY STEVE CARRELL!

8:10: What year was it that dogs became fashion accessories, exactly?

Oscars! Liveblogging! Tomorrow Night! Be Here!

Yep, that just about covers it.

Festivities will commence here tomorrow at 8pm EST! WOOT!

And don't forget to submit your ballot for the Mamapop 2007 Oscars Challenge! PRIZES, people! EXCLA-FUCKIN-MATION POINT!

Okay, I'm done shouting. Until tomorrow night, of course, when I'll spend three hours screaming at the tv nonstop. MY CAPS LOCK POWERS ARE BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION.

Even though most years I haven't had much emotional investment in either team, the Super Bowl and I have always gotten along well. The last time I was really interested in the game itself was 2000, when the St. Louis Rams were there -- led by Kurt Warner, who happened to go to my high school. My husband and I went to a Super Bowl party that year, and because I was 8 months pregnant at the time, I was given one of the best seats in the house and had people constantly bringing me food. I think I gained the last 10 pounds of my pregnancy that day.

Today, we're watching the Super Bowl at home -- just me, my husband, and our two sons. And now that I've had my quick refresh on how many downs in a series, and the difference between offsides and illegal motion, I'm all set. I'm rooting for the Bears, just because I have ties to Chicago and a few Bears fans in my family. I'll probably be more entertained by the commercials than I am by the game, but if you want to talk football, we can definitely talk football.

5:38 - Salesgenie.com - I think they just spent their entire annual budget on a commercial. Who are they?

5:40 - Jadore, on the other hand, has gotten a buttload of ads. A product for women with ads targeted to men....interesting.

5:43 - I just put my son's sippy cup in a beer koozie. Somebody call Meredith Vieira. Oh, and it looks like Salesgenie.com is sponsoring the pre-game show. Wow.

5:48 - Gloria Estefan gets to introduce Cirque de Soliel, while Billy Joel gets the national anthem and Prince gets halftime. Miami kind of gave her the shaft, huh?

Maybe she'll get more than this.

5:57 - Combos: BEST COMMERCIAL EVER.

6:02 - Okay, this is what I love best about TV sports -- the fabulous, emotional montages. Excellent stuff.

6:10 - More montage-y goodness!

6:17 - Billy Joel. NOT lip-synching. Good for him.

6:21 - Jessica Simpson, you are better at commercials than anything else you have done so far. Stick with it, girlfriend.

6:22 - To recap so far: Pre-game entertainment - excellent. National anthem: not bad. Moving Montages: oh, so excellent. Commercials: eh, okay, hope they get a LOT better.

* A continually updated, running commentary on the broadcast in real-time (hit refresh as necessary)*

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

So Amanda and I were emailing today (part four frillion and two of the non-stop tantrum I've been throwing since the Palladinos left Gilmore Girls in the hands of some dirty typewriter surrender monkeys), and she informed me that the Rumors That Be report that this show might actually be back for an 8th season after all.

ANOTHER SEASON? Jesus. I've gone on record as swearing to go down with the ship, but another season? That's like going down with the ship, washing up on a deserted island, and then starving to death after you run out of coconuts.

Sigh. Okay, it's showtime. Let us all gather together around this little bonfire I've managed to build (Wilson the volleyball helped), and support each other by reminiscing about the days before this show went totally off the rails. And peanut butter. God, I would totally fuck a has-been musician for some peanut butter.

Its another big evening for us, my pretties! American Idol Birmingham auditions AND Gilmore Girls (the former being helmed by this season's AI mainstay Tracey, the latter being liveblogged by everyone's favorite GG fanatic Amy), both covered in full here starting here at 8pm EST (and running until we all collectively lose our will to live type). Get your momtinis mixed and cozy up to the teevee with us for what will doubtless be an evening of snarktastic fun! See ya'll then!

* A continually updated, running commentary on the broadcast in real-time (hit refresh as necessary)*

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Okay, disclaimer: I have not watched American Idol since the season Fantasia won, and even then I think I'd wandered away after...(checks Wikipedia for the name of that guy I liked...George Huff! Aw, poor George Huff)...yeah, after George Huff was voted off.

I cannot stand glory notes, Christina Aguilera Jazz Hands and Dorky White Non-Threatening Torch-Song-Singing Boys. And I hate what passes for "rock and/or roll" in AmericanIdolLand. So basically, this show annoys with almost every fiber of my being, but hot damn, I do love these audition episodes.

Also, an update on the MamaPop American Idol Drinking Game: Everybody's suggestions were so good, I'm not sure I can choose an official list of cues. Dawg, you made it your own, Ryan Seacrest sexuality zingers, that fucking Edwin McCain song...there are just too many to choose from. So the only guideline for playing along at home? DRINK UNTIL IT STOPS HURTING.

Are we ready? Okay. Let's do this thang...

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

8:02: Well. Teenage Wasteland? Either somebody has never actually listened to these lyrics or else maybe they kind of hate their job.

8:03: Seacrest: "We'll journey together!" Oh man, we are going to need a LOT MORE SHUT THE FUCK UP.

8:04: Oh, Prince. So very unfortunate, really.

8:05: Okay, the child just changed the channel. He...does not like Jewel very much.

8:07: "Jewel is your favorite artist? Guess what! She's inside! This was totally not staged at all!"

8:07: Wait, did Simon just call her "Sweetheart?" In a non-snotty way? Did Paula slip him some pills?

8:08: Oh no. No. No no no. Make it stop.

8:09: I AM SOBER. HELP ME.

Liveblogging: Super Bowl XLI

Even though most years I haven't had much emotional investment in either team, the Super Bowl and I have always gotten along well. The last time I was really interested in the game itself was 2000, when the St. Louis Rams were there -- led by Kurt Warner, who happened to go to my high school. My husband and I went to a Super Bowl party that year, and because I was 8 months pregnant at the time, I was given one of the best seats in the house and had people constantly bringing me food. I think I gained the last 10 pounds of my pregnancy that day.

Today, we're watching the Super Bowl at home -- just me, my husband, and our two sons. And now that I've had my quick refresh on how many downs in a series, and the difference between offsides and illegal motion, I'm all set. I'm rooting for the Bears, just because I have ties to Chicago and a few Bears fans in my family. I'll probably be more entertained by the commercials than I am by the game, but if you want to talk football, we can definitely talk football.

5:38 - Salesgenie.com - I think they just spent their entire annual budget on a commercial. Who are they?

5:40 - Jadore, on the other hand, has gotten a buttload of ads. A product for women with ads targeted to men....interesting.

5:43 - I just put my son's sippy cup in a beer koozie. Somebody call Meredith Vieira. Oh, and it looks like Salesgenie.com is sponsoring the pre-game show. Wow.

5:48 - Gloria Estefan gets to introduce Cirque de Soliel, while Billy Joel gets the national anthem and Prince gets halftime. Miami kind of gave her the shaft, huh?

Maybe she'll get more than this.

5:57 - Combos: BEST COMMERCIAL EVER.

6:02 - Okay, this is what I love best about TV sports -- the fabulous, emotional montages. Excellent stuff.

6:10 - More montage-y goodness!

6:17 - Billy Joel. NOT lip-synching. Good for him.

6:21 - Jessica Simpson, you are better at commercials than anything else you have done so far. Stick with it, girlfriend.

6:22 - To recap so far: Pre-game entertainment - excellent. National anthem: not bad. Moving Montages: oh, so excellent. Commercials: eh, okay, hope they get a LOT better.

Liveblogging: Some Random Gilmore Girls Episode That Is Sure To Piss Amy Off

* A continually updated, running commentary on the broadcast in real-time (hit refresh as necessary)*

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

So Amanda and I were emailing today (part four frillion and two of the non-stop tantrum I've been throwing since the Palladinos left Gilmore Girls in the hands of some dirty typewriter surrender monkeys), and she informed me that the Rumors That Be report that this show might actually be back for an 8th season after all.

ANOTHER SEASON? Jesus. I've gone on record as swearing to go down with the ship, but another season? That's like going down with the ship, washing up on a deserted island, and then starving to death after you run out of coconuts.

Sigh. Okay, it's showtime. Let us all gather together around this little bonfire I've managed to build (Wilson the volleyball helped), and support each other by reminiscing about the days before this show went totally off the rails. And peanut butter. God, I would totally fuck a has-been musician for some peanut butter.

Reminders: American Idol & Gilmore Girls Open Threads Tonight!

Its another big evening for us, my pretties! American Idol Birmingham auditions AND Gilmore Girls (the former being helmed by this season's AI mainstay Tracey, the latter being liveblogged by everyone's favorite GG fanatic Amy), both covered in full here starting here at 8pm EST (and running until we all collectively lose our will to live type). Get your momtinis mixed and cozy up to the teevee with us for what will doubtless be an evening of snarktastic fun! See ya'll then!

* A continually updated, running commentary on the broadcast in real-time (hit refresh as necessary)*

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Okay, disclaimer: I have not watched American Idol since the season Fantasia won, and even then I think I'd wandered away after...(checks Wikipedia for the name of that guy I liked...George Huff! Aw, poor George Huff)...yeah, after George Huff was voted off.

I cannot stand glory notes, Christina Aguilera Jazz Hands and Dorky White Non-Threatening Torch-Song-Singing Boys. And I hate what passes for "rock and/or roll" in AmericanIdolLand. So basically, this show annoys with almost every fiber of my being, but hot damn, I do love these audition episodes.

Also, an update on the MamaPop American Idol Drinking Game: Everybody's suggestions were so good, I'm not sure I can choose an official list of cues. Dawg, you made it your own, Ryan Seacrest sexuality zingers, that fucking Edwin McCain song...there are just too many to choose from. So the only guideline for playing along at home? DRINK UNTIL IT STOPS HURTING.

Are we ready? Okay. Let's do this thang...

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

8:02: Well. Teenage Wasteland? Either somebody has never actually listened to these lyrics or else maybe they kind of hate their job.

8:03: Seacrest: "We'll journey together!" Oh man, we are going to need a LOT MORE SHUT THE FUCK UP.

8:04: Oh, Prince. So very unfortunate, really.

8:05: Okay, the child just changed the channel. He...does not like Jewel very much.

8:07: "Jewel is your favorite artist? Guess what! She's inside! This was totally not staged at all!"

8:07: Wait, did Simon just call her "Sweetheart?" In a non-snotty way? Did Paula slip him some pills?

8:08: Oh no. No. No no no. Make it stop.

8:09: I AM SOBER. HELP ME.

Liveblogging-R-Us: American Idol 6 Premiere

* A continually updated, running commentary on the broadcast in real-time (hit refresh as necessary)*

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Okay, disclaimer: I have not watched American Idol since the season Fantasia won, and even then I think I'd wandered away after...(checks Wikipedia for the name of that guy I liked...George Huff! Aw, poor George Huff)...yeah, after George Huff was voted off.

I cannot stand glory notes, Christina Aguilera Jazz Hands and Dorky White Non-Threatening Torch-Song-Singing Boys. And I hate what passes for "rock and/or roll" in AmericanIdolLand. So basically, this show annoys with almost every fiber of my being, but hot damn, I do love these audition episodes.

Also, an update on the MamaPop American Idol Drinking Game: Everybody's suggestions were so good, I'm not sure I can choose an official list of cues. Dawg, you made it your own, Ryan Seacrest sexuality zingers, that fucking Edwin McCain song...there are just too many to choose from. So the only guideline for playing along at home? DRINK UNTIL IT STOPS HURTING.

Are we ready? Okay. Let's do this thang...

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

8:02: Well. Teenage Wasteland? Either somebody has never actually listened to these lyrics or else maybe they kind of hate their job.

8:03: Seacrest: "We'll journey together!" Oh man, we are going to need a LOT MORE SHUT THE FUCK UP.

8:04: Oh, Prince. So very unfortunate, really.

8:05: Okay, the child just changed the channel. He...does not like Jewel very much.

8:07: "Jewel is your favorite artist? Guess what! She's inside! This was totally not staged at all!"

8:07: Wait, did Simon just call her "Sweetheart?" In a non-snotty way? Did Paula slip him some pills?

8:08: Oh no. No. No no no. Make it stop.

8:09: I AM SOBER. HELP ME.