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mamapoplosers Archive


May 27, 2010

Rage Against the Baby Bump Watch

Halle-berry-baby-bump1 You know what pisses me off? The baby bump watch.

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May 25, 2010

Raise Your Hand if You Didn't Watch the "LOST" Finale

Lost-square I know that I run the risk of getting kicked off of the site for admitting this, but I have a confession: I didn't watch the LOST finale.

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April 16, 2010

Kiefer Sutherland Gets Thrown Out of Strip Club: For Stripping

Kiefer-sutherland No, no, no, Kiefer. When you go into a strip club the people who work there take of their clothes. You and the other patrons are supposed to keep your clothes on. Jesus, Sutherland, how do you expect a stripper to pay her way through college if you do her job for free?

I don't know what was going through his mind - maybe he thought he was in the champagne room, but a topless Kiefer Sutherland got thrown out of a "lap dance club called Stringfellows" in London on Thursday night.

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April 12, 2010

The MamaPop Biggest Loser Challenge: Finale

The_biggest_loser Thirteen weeks ago, 15 MamaPop writers were fatter than they are now. They set goals, began to work out, and started eating better. Some talked trash. Some were humble. All of them craved the kind of pride that can only stem from becoming more sexually desirable. But there can be only one Big Fat Loser Winner.

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April 05, 2010

The MamaPop Biggest Loser Challenge: Week 12

The_biggest_loser logo Twelve weeks down. One to go. This week, we had a lot of losses and people staying the same, but no gains, which I'm hoping was a direct result of me being mean to everybody. Positive reinforcement will only take you so far. There comes a time when you need some good old fashioned feeling terrible about yourself.

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March 29, 2010

The MamaPop Biggest Loser Challenge: Week 11

The_biggest_loser We're in the homestretch. There's only two weeks left and the pounds are coming off slow. I'm getting ready to concede defeat. I'm getting ready to write a pep talk about how we all made progress and how that matters more than meeting our goal. Even though it doesn't. CURSE YOU FAT! I HATE LOSING! I WILL STRANGLE YOU WITH HEALTH! 

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March 22, 2010

The MamaPop Biggest Loser Challenge: Week 10

The_biggest_loser With only 3 weeks to go, some incredibly mystical insight that can't even be fathomed by discursive consciousness dissolves the individuality of the Mamapop team members into ONE TEAM MEMBER. What used to be a collection of people is now actually a bunch of vital organs contributing to one functioning body. It's pretty cool.

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March 15, 2010

The MamaPop Biggest Loser Challenge: Week 9

The_biggest_loser We are 9 weeks into the cult of weight loss and I'm still in the lead so I declare myself the Charlie Manson of weight loss. I've down 29. Miss Banshee's down 27 and TwoBusy is minus 20 pounds. The story of the week, though, is THE PALINODE, who hit his goal. Right on, Palinode! You're an asset to the compound.

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March 08, 2010

The MamaPop Biggest Loser Challenge: Week 8

The_biggest_loser

It's Monday. This post was supposed to go up Friday but I was probably running up a mountain or doing one-handed push-ups or falling asleep in a chair. Anyway, the standings haven't changed. Me and Miss Banshee turned in a pair of 0s to keep me 1 pound in front of her: 24 to 23. And TwoBusy shed another pound to creep a little closer like a sneaky tortoise: 17 total. Jennie lost 3 pounds for a total of 15 pounds. "LOST THE BABY WEIGHT, BITCHES. Only took a year and some change."

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February 26, 2010

The MamaPop Biggest Loser Challenge: Week 7

The_biggest_loser
The Banshee/BHJ showdown rages on as they both shed 3 this week but TwoBusy dropped 4 more to narrow the gap. Everybody else either lost a pound, remained the same, OR PACKED ON 3 IN JAMAICA. BHJ: 24. Miss Banshee: 23. TwoBusy: 16.

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February 19, 2010

The MamaPop Biggest Loser Challenge: Week 6

The_biggest_loserFor 6 weeks I pursued her but she remained a step ahead. All she left behind were empty cans of Monster Lo-Carb Energy Drink and the old fat clothes she no longer fit inside. BANSHEEEEEE! I wailed and shook my fists. Until today, my friends. BHJ: 21 pounds. Miss Banshee: 20 pounds. Amber & TwoBusy: tied for 3rd with 12 pounds apiece.

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February 15, 2010

Recipes, Speed Metabolizers, And Diet Helmets: Getting To The Bottom Of Weight Loss

The_biggest_loser In spite of the minor setback of a collective 2 pound gain for week 5, the MamaPop Loser team presses on. Forward. Ahead. Down the road. To the awesome. This week, they checked in with Corey & Kristin for a little Q & A.

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February 12, 2010

The MamaPop Biggest Loser Challenge: Week 5

The_biggest_loser Miss Banshee continues to rock the house, leading the pack with a loss of 18 pounds. I'm nipping at her heels, down 16 pounds. And let's welcome a new face on the leaderboard... JENNIE! In third with 11 pounds. (Okay. TwoBusy's tied with her but I don't really wanna talk about Twobusy this week. Fucking TwoBusy.)

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February 05, 2010

The MamaPop Biggest Loser Challenge: Week 4

The_biggest_loserHoly neck & neck! Miss Banshee is feeling the heat from TwoBusy as they tie for first with 15 pounds. BHJ's in third with 14.

But hold the phone. We had our first MamaPop Loser make it to her goal. Find out who after the jump.

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January 29, 2010

The MamaPop Biggest Loser Challenge: Week 3

Biggest_loser The week's totals are in and they're after the jump. But who leads so far for the whole 3 weeks? Miss Banshee's in 1st with 13 pounds. BHJ is 2nd with 12 pounds. While TwoBusy, Mayopie, and Schmutzie are all tied up for 3rd with 9 pounds. That's 52 pounds off 5 MamaPoppers. Damn, we're fly.

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