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"Movies" Archive


May 28, 2010

Who's The Baddest Woman In Movie History?

Lara-croft-cropped New and Improved. Now with special bonus question.



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May 27, 2010

Sex And The City 2 Opens Today: Start Your Cosmos, Ladies

Sex-and-the-city-2-cropped Will it suck? Probably. 

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May 26, 2010

Brendan Fraser Has a Lot of Integrity

Brendan-fraser The actor is prepared to walk away from a hefty payday because of a dispute with the studio over who should direct -- he'd rather not make the film at all if it means compromising his artistic vision.

This all sounds fantastic until you find out just what movie and directors we're talking about here.

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May 25, 2010

MacGruber Climbs on Top of Pile of Failed SNL-Based Movies

Macgruber Shocking to, perhaps, four or five people, MacGruber, the feature-length adaptation of the Saturday Night Live skit, is officially a box-office bomb.

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May 24, 2010

Bret Easton Ellis Doesn't Think Too Highly of Female Directors

Bret-easton-ellis Perhaps I'm just getting bitter and/or more nonchalant in my old age, but when Bret Easton Ellis says stuff like he doesn't think, in general, that women can direct, I don't get angry. I just kind of shrug and tell him to quit talking and go write some messed up book for me to read kthanxbi.

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May 21, 2010

HAHAHAHA! Tell The "Fat and Ugly" Joke! It NEVER Gets Old!

Shrek-4-mike-meyers  So the new Shrek Movie opens today and while that might sound like awful news to most people, I'm looking at it as a God-send. I'm going to use the existence of this film to prove, once and for all, the parentage of my children. I'll say "Do you want to see the new Shrek movie?" and if they say "Yes"...they're not mine.

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May 20, 2010

Flight of the Conchords Star in Negotiations for Men in Black 3 Role

Jemaine-clement So, it looks like Jemaine Clement, the sublimely daffy New Zealand native who played one half of the starring duo in HBO's Flight of the Conchords, will play a villain in the apparently necessary third installment of the Men in Black franchise.

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Babies On Film

Babies-movie-poster-thomas-balmes Babies are awesome. And a movie called Babies that opened earlier this month sets out to show us why, worldwide. 

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May 18, 2010

Parenting Lindsay Lohan [Celebrity Kids Gone Bad]

Lindsay-Lohan-Rolex-Thief Hey, it's Tuesday!  Guess what time it is?  That's right, it's that time for a series I just made up in my head: Celebrity Kids Gone Bad, wherein we play the hypothetical game.

What would you do if you woke up tomorrow morning and BAM!  You're suddenly Lindsay Lohan's parent?

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May 17, 2010

Looper Director Wears Ironic Scarves. Don't Judge Him.

Rian-johnson-looper  Maybe you think there is a better idea for a movie than time-traveling assassins, but I'm here to tell you that you are so wrong. Like if wrongness was a sandwich, yours would be a peanut butter and shit sandwich. Looper is a film that will explore that time-travel premise.

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Christian Anti-Kissing Video Goes Viral, Causes Chills and Cramps

Pamelas-prayer

Want to see something creepy? Like maybe this clip from a Christian abstinence "education" video about waiting until you're married...to kiss?

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May 14, 2010

Dick Story is Not At All What You Think.

Adjustment-bureau-matt-damon-emily-blunt  The Adjustment Bureau is the next Philip K. Dick story to get a Hollywood Treatment. And no, that isn't some weird sex thing involving light-bulbs and anal lube. Okay, maybe it is, but that's not what the movie is about. 

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I Was Going To Go See "A Nightmare On Elm Street" But No Way, Man!

Freddy You don't understand. The original "A Nightmare On Elm Street" fucked me up. I was thirteen, I was alone, and what I thought was going to be a quiet evening of touching myself turned into a nightmare of my own.

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May 12, 2010

Super 8 Revealed - Kinda

Super-8-film[1] The new film directed by J.J. Abrams and produced by Spielberg got an early trailer this last week. What do we know so far, though, really?

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May 10, 2010

My Ten-Year-Old Son Reviews Iron Man 2

Ironman-2-flying  Maybe you're thinking I am too distinguished to review such a pedestrian film as Iron Man 2 and you would be completely right except for this time. So thank you for the kind sentiment. I raise my plastic champagne glass filled with a mixture of Jolt© Cola and Code Red Mt. Dew to you and giggle like an ugly girl asked to the prom by the star athlete with no detection of the horrible embarrassment awaiting her. I did however, take my son to go see it and he had some keen insight into the filmmakers vision, so I thought I'd share it.

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