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July 30, 2009

Gisele Bundchen's Baby Bump Retouched for London Fog Ads; In Other News, Photoshop Lessons Now Available Online!

Gisele-bundchen-pregnant-london-fog-retouched Pregnant Gisele Bundchen, who is expecting her first child with husband Tom Brady, appears almost nekkid in a sexy new London Fog ad campaign but her baby bump is nowhere to be found. According to a press release from the company, "...Most of the shots have been retouched to respect her privacy during this wonderful and personal time in her life.” Although, curiously, the statement then goes on to read, “Nobody is sexier or more beautiful than Gisele Bundchen in nothing but a London Fog trench coat, even with her visible baby bump."

Which leaves me with two questions:

1) If nobody is sexier than a pregnant Gisele Bundchen, why Photoshop her pregnant belly?


2) What kind of lame ass airbrushing job is that?


June 09, 2009

I Am Drinking the Infinite Summer Kool-Aid

Infinite_jest_cover Move over Oprah's Book Club. Make way for Infinite Summer.

Okay, so I have posted before about my love for the works of the late David Foster Wallace before. If you don't feel like reading my sappy and likely written-while-drunk tribute, let's just say he's pretty much the wind beneath my wings and all that stuff, only we never met under a pier in Atlantic City or, like, at all, and he didn't die of cancer, but rather hung himself last summer and shattered my heart into a million pieces. Despite bearing no relation to Barbara Hershey's character from Beaches, Dave Wallace's work did compel me to want to be a writer, so you can either thank him or curse him for that.

Aaaanyway. While I have already read his magnum opus Infinite Jest three times, some people on Twitter have given me a reason to go four #4. The impetus is a phenomenon called Infinite Summer, and it's getting to be kind of a big deal. Wanna play? Well, then here's what you do.


June 01, 2009

My Teen Witch Problem

Teen-Witch I had hoped to keep this post under my pointy hat until Halloween, when it would be more appropriate, but I feel the need to share this particular facet of my insanity with the internet as soon as possible.


April 13, 2009

Amazon Removes Books From Search As "Adult Content," Book Lovers Are Not Amused

American_psycho_unfriendly_fire Authors were surprised and shocked this weekend to find that their work had been removed from Amazon.com's popularity ranking of books. The ranking, which shows where an author's book fits in the vast collection of tomes that Amazon offers, is a great indication as to the demand the public has for a particular book, and many authors were left without that popularity index due to a new guideline for "adult content."

Their books were TOO DIRTY.


March 25, 2009

Photoshop Fail: Epic Derriere Edition

Kimkardashianass So, Kim Kardashian. Kim Kardashian is famous for... um... precisely nothing, other than being famous for nothing. (Which, when you think about it? Is really kind of old school. Nowadays, you have to give birth to at least eight children - preferably all at once - before the reality TV producers will even look at you. Kim Kardashian got her start in a simpler time.)

She is also, apparently, famous for her ass, which is - according to ass enthusiasts - pretty epic. Which makes this particular story somewhat confusing: Kim Kardashian was photographed for the cover of Complex Magazine, and - gasp - an unPhotoshopped version of one of the photos was posted at Complex's website! But! They caught the error! And the proper - Photoshopped! - version of the photo was put in its place!




March 18, 2009

OK Magazine Prints Jade Goody's "Memorial" Issue Even Though She's Not Dead Yet

Jade_goody Whether or not you ever heard of Jade Goody before, you've probably seen her on Entertainment Tonight and its ilk, or gossip magazines and websites. She's a British reality "star" who is in the end stages of cervical cancer. She also has been documenting her battle in the press, most recently getting married to her boyfriend and father of her children in a very public way. It's all very sad and very weird, the way she's been documenting her decline in health, but if that's the way she wanted to do it, then so be it.

Now, that bastion of good taste, OK Magazine, has come out with a memorial issue of their tabloid dedicated to Goody's life and tragic death. There's just one problem.

She's not dead yet.


March 10, 2009

"Raiders of the Lost Ark" Story Conference Transcript

Raidersofthelostark Yes, I am so totally this geeky.

A downloadable 125-page transcript of the original 1978 story conference between Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, and Lawrence Kasdan for "Raiders of the Lost Ark" has surfaced on the interwebs. It's likely to disappear under threat of legal action and the like soon, so you best head over and get it while the gettin's good.

The transcript reveals, among other things, that George Lucas created an actual numeric, mathematical formula for storytelling on film. So awesome. (And nutty. But awesome!)

The Ethics of Foie Gras

Afflac We here are MamaPop are definitely foodies. At our dinner in Las Vegas, Schmutzie and Palinode shared a piece of cheese with a thick layer of ash running through it, eyes rolling back into their heads in ecstasy. KDiddy dined on trout, unfazed by the head that was still attached. Miss Banshee savored duck paté and duck breast to match. I raved over escargot served with puff pastry.

We watch Top Chef like some people watch porn. WE LIKEY FOOD.

But are some foods just...not okay? As despicable as PETA can often be, they have in the past produced compelling video evidence that some foods are just beyond cruel. Veal penning was a big hot topic a decade ago, and now, perhaps the trendiest of trendy foods, foie gras, is the focus. But is foie gras cruel?


March 06, 2009

Friday Eye Candy: Humorless Feminist Confronts Vanity Fair Edition

Vfapatownudes Nothing forces a bored and over-educated pop culture addict into more of an over-analytical death-spin than images in fashion and entertainment magazines. Especially images that reference or exploit the sexualized human form. Especially images that reference or exploit  the sexualized female form.

But then you go and throw Paul Rudd into the mix - Paul Rudd referencing a hyper-sexual Tom Ford into the mix - and it all kind of unravels, because who can hold a consistent thread of critical feminist commentary concerning the exploitation of women (or mockery of the exploitation of women) (blah blah blah) when Paul Rudd is right there, daring you to exploit him and despoil that copy of Vanity Fair that you're holding in your sweaty hands?

I still think - alongside writers at Salon and Jezebel and elsewhere - that the Vanity Fair image I discussed the other day is problematic. I also think that Paul Rudd looks awesome in that picture, and wish that he were naked. It's complicated.

So why not take this opportunity to review Vanity Fair's history of complicated and sometimes uncomfortably Eye-Candylicious magazine covers?


March 04, 2009

Dear Vanity Fair: Sometimes, Sexism Isn't As Simple As Objectifying Women. Or Maybe It Is.

So the image for the cover of the upcoming April 2009 Vanity Fair issue, shot by Annie Leibowitz, is causing a bit of stir. See if you can figure out why...

April 2009:


(Apatow Nudes In Repose. Go ahead, giggle. It's okay. FOR NOW.)

Nothing controversial there? Compare it to this previous cover image:



January 21, 2009

Obama Begins, Get Your War On Ends


Amidst all of the happiness and optimism surrounding yesterday's inauguration comes a bittersweet moment: the very last Get Your War On strip.


January 15, 2009

Hugh Laurie Tells Us: Don't Fear The Reaper


Can you imagine if we all kept the vows we made at 15? We'd all be married to our sophomore-year boyfriends and girlfriends, we'd still hold annual vigils for Kurt Cobain (okay, so some of you might still do that, and I'm totally not judging you, so hold your hate mail), and we'd of course NEVER be speaking to our horrible parents who don't understand what a social death it is to be grounded all summer.

And, if we were like Hugh Laurie, we would be dead!


January 02, 2009

Beyonce is Better Than You


Beyonce's write-up in the latest issue of Elle sounds as though it were penned by a moonlighting Harlequin author. The article is peppered with ridiculous phrases like "They could have been scientists conducting experiments on the precise nature of B.’s radiance ..." and "there’s the B. who is sitting here chatting like the girl next door and the B. who sashays around the stage with a license to kill ..."

The entire point of the article (and it fails miserably) is to make Beyonce, or, B., seem human and accessible, like the "girl next door." The girl next door who screams at her mother over a lost shoe and designs clothing for little girls that looks like this:


December 30, 2008

More Made-Up Memoirs


Oh, YAY. It's another literary liar. I LOVE these guys.

No, really, I do. I am endlessly fascinated with fakers, from Janet Cooke to James Frey to (oh my god my FAVORITE) Margaret Seltzer. Or perhaps I just kind of admire the incredible BALLS it requires to be all, "Yeah, I was an eight-year-old heroin addict who was saved from the Holocaust by a gang of East L.A. wolves who threw apples at me, and stuff. What part of that don't you believe?"


December 23, 2008

Darlin', Don't You Go And Cut Your Hair


Well, well, well. Ladies? I have a bombshell for you. Ready? Pixie haircuts are back in style! Yay! I've always loved the pixie, I've worn it several times, and have gotten more compliments on it than any other haircut I've sported. BUT! Don't go skittering over to the salon just yet, missy. Because according to an article in the New York Daily News, "experts" say that cutting your hair will make men shun you! Shunned like the Amish! So go get that sassy new 'do, but don't expect to have sex ever again.

Wait. WHAT?


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