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June 18, 2010

Silly Bandz Bans?

Silly-bandz  Did you know that Silly Bandz were a thing? Because I've been wearing them in my hair for a couple of months now and I had no idea.  

Of course you did, didn't you? 

Is a five-year old going to cut me for my pig? 

That sounds all kinds of wrong. 

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April 28, 2010

I'm Sorry to Break It to You, But You Can't Buy Dr. Jack Kevorkian's Death Van on eBay Anymore

Dr. Jack KevorkianThere are a few disappointed eBay consumers this week after the vehicle they were trying to buy was pulled from auction on Monday. Apparently, if you own one of the vans in which Dr. Jack Kevorkian performed any of his claimed minimum of 130 illegal assisted suicides and try to sell it on eBay, eBay has a policy against the sale of "murderabilia" and will de-list your auction.

Damn. And I so always wanted a death van.

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March 16, 2010

Corey Haim's Family Sells His Stuff on E-Bay

Haim_shirtless_corey As if the fact that Corey Haim died at 38 while battling drug addiction wasn't sad enough - now his family is raising the money for his funeral by selling the cuter of the two Corey's belongings on eBay.

Dark.

So you know, you have about a day and a half left if you want to buy Corey Haim's used toothbrush.

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March 03, 2010

Best Sex Writing 2010: Sex Writing Is Sexy, And Reading Sex Writing Is Pretty Sexy, Too

Bettie_page_bondage I am going to admit something that I find personally quite embarrassing: until recently, I had not been able to make it through an entire book in well over a year. There. I said it.

So, when I was sent a copy of Best Sex Writing 2010 for review, it was a tall order, given my recent inability to finish a book, but I thought that whether or not I was able to read the whole thing would stand as a barometer for its ability to engage me.

Guess what: sexual content is engaging, and I READ THE WHOLE THING.

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February 26, 2010

Flashback Friday-Really Bad Fashion Choices

 Generra_Hypercolor  Jodifur, again, with my version on this Flashback Friday.  And today, I want to talk about the really bad fashion choices some of us, well, most of us, well, probably all of us, made during the 80's.  Let's get started, shall we? 

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January 13, 2010

Bridal Sneakers, For When You Want Your Feet to Scream Both Nursing! and Cake!

Bridal_sneaker_beatriceHere is one of the stupidest and most unnecessary descriptors I have ever heard attributed to sneakers: bridal. BRIDAL SNEAKERS.

The Lovely Bride carries these for when you want your feet to look like a pair of specialized cakes at a party for nurses.

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December 14, 2009

Grey's Anatomy Is STILL Not On, But I Got Some Of Dr. Shepherd's New Cologne And It's Liquid Sex

Patrick_dempsey Patrick Dempsey has his own Avon fragrance called Unscripted and I never smelled it because I never got a free bottle. But Avon sent me his second fragrance, Patrick Dempsey 2, and it smells really good. Talk about a lazy name, though. I would've called it McEau de Toilette. I bet Patrick Dempsey was having a bad day and Avon was bugging him about a name and he just barked "PATRICK DEMPSEY 2!"

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November 05, 2009

Weezer Snuggies: The Perfect Marriage of Nerdery and Warmth

Weezer_snuggie Before I get into this, I want to remind you that I will not tolerate any Snuggie haters. Snuggies are awesome and if you can't deal with my luxurious, ultra-soft fleece, get out of the kitchen. Or off of my couch. Whatever. I'll cut you and your trapped hands.

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October 29, 2009

Is That an Animal Humping the Back of Your Head, or Are You Just Wearing a Kate Gosselin Halloween Wig?

Kate_gosselin_wig_1Kate Gosselin. Love to hate her or hate to love her, she and her progeny toddled into the paparazzi's eye with Jon & Kate Plus 8, and Jon Gosselin's dramatically sweaty, slutty, and cheezily-wardrobed exit from their marriage and the show has done nothing but excite the flames of celebrity. Kate Gosselin's sweep across magazine covers, internet celebrity sites, and television talk shows has stamped her and her stiff carpet of hair into our collective memory so firmly that her image is now set to invade one of America's most sacred holidays, Halloween.

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October 15, 2009

At 35, Hello Kitty's Got Guts, And We Like It

Hello_kittyHello Kitty, most recently famed for Lady Gaga's creepy couture iteration of the her visage, is being re-imagined once again.

Providing that you have not been living in a cave for the last three-and-a-half decades, you are probably familiar with Hello Kitty's incredibly simple but highly recognizable style. This famous feline, designed by Ikuko Shimizu, was first introduced in Japan in 1974 by the company Sanrio, and in the intervening 35 years, she's been featured as and on just about every product imaginable and is now worth more than $1 billion in sales a year.

Dr. Romanelli, Sanrio, and Medicom Toy have recently teamed up to create the ultra-most-awesome-special Hello Kitty anatomy toy, and, of course, even her guts are cute as a button:

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August 26, 2009

"Designer" Snuggies. Crapping. You. Negative.

Designer_snuggie I don't know exactly how long this gift from heaven has existed, but I didn't hear about it until last night. When the commercial first came on, I thought for sure that I had accidentally ingested LSD. Again.

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August 20, 2009

My Pants Are SO TOTALLY Into You Right Now

Winkers Aligned with our ongoing, tireless efforts to call to your attention aspects of our culture that might be viewed as suitable for inclusion in this site's archives under the category documenting Signs Of The Apocalypse, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I give you "WinkersTM":

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May 06, 2009

Campaign to Revise "Traditional" Anniversary Gifts: A Manifesto by Snarky Amber

I_Heart_iPhone Hi folks! So, I have this wedding anniversary coming up in the next week, which has placed a proverbial bee directly between my proverbial bonnet and my literal head. While I'm not really one for traditions, per se, I am a traditionalist when it comes to the traditions where people give me consumer goods in packages that are wrapped in shiny paper. So, in considering what I'd like to unwrap for this, my second anniversary, I consulted the annals of history for traditional anniversary gifts. And my conclusion was this:

Man, these anniversary gifts need an update. Pronto. My slang also needs an update, but we'll work on that some other time.

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May 05, 2009

You're Gonna Love My Nuts

That's all. And you're welcome.


May 01, 2009

Hulu Ate Mah Braaaaains PLUS Kelly Video Winnahs, Ahoy!

Eliza_dushku_dollhouse Look at me, I'm multitasking! I'm dang near multitasktastic! Huzzah!

Sooooo you might have heard by now that I've gone cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs over this Dollhouse show, to such a degree that I'm practically harassing the internet about it. The internet might have to take a restraining order out on my ass, in fact. I mean, I am after all a documented stalker. BOO! FEAR ME!!!!

Oh c'mon, please? sigh.

But to give credit and/or blame where credit and/or blame is due, I watched almost all of Dollhouse entirely by way of Hulu.com, that new-fangled TV on the internet thing all the kids have been talking about. And it's really quite remarkable. TV! On your computer! It's like we're living in the 21st Century or something!!! Oh, wait...

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