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April 22, 2009

BILLY MAYS HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT HIS NEW SHOW, PITCHMEN

Billy_mays_pitchmen The Discovery Channel's new show, Pitchmen, is semi-revolutionary for two reasons: 1) we get to see the inner workings of infomercials and regular commercials for those kooky "As Seen on TV" products and 2) Billy Mays speaks at a normal volume.

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April 13, 2009

Lamest or Most Brilliant Advertising Ever: Twilight "Eyeverts"

Twilight_eyevert I feel ripped off: here in the states for the DVD release we didn't have anything fancy like this. For the UK Twilight DVD release Summit hired a bunch of male models, fixed them up to look like Edward Cullen, and had them wear gold - nay, smoldering golden, a la Meyer - contact lenses, a.k.a. "eyeverts" which revealed details of the DVD. The models then were unleashed into the streets where they tried to make eye contact with unsuspecting females.

I don't know about you, but if a dude obviously wearing contacts with an Edward complex tried glaring at me in the street, my first thought would likely be psycho killah! and not "Twilight." Check out the commercial after the jump.

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March 30, 2009

Taming Your Topiary

TopiaryEvery once in a while, a commercial comes along that renders me speechless and unable to think and I find myself going through a diagnostic, troubleshooting procedure with my brain. Am I offended? I don't think so. Am I amused? Kind of (?). Am I going to buy this product? No, but there was never any danger of that. What exactly do I think of this commercial? I may never be sure.

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March 24, 2009

Lauren Conrad's Clothing Line Is On A Break

Laurenconrad Okay, so the economy sucks and people are losing jobs and houses and our local Linens n' Things went out of business and there's now an entire shopping center occupied by a bunch of random stores subletting the space called Furniture n' Things and Lamps n' Things and Factory Second Measuring Spoons n' Things and anyway, it's all just too depressing and real out there. So I feel a little badly for reveling in some schadenfreude today about Lauren Conrad's clothing line officially filing for failure.

But you know what? I also just learned that Paris Hilton broke up with that one guy and is now dating some other guy and I had NO IDEA, which means I'm really growing as a person and expanding my interests and finally living a life that does not involve knowing who Paris Hilton is specifically fucking at any particular time. Therefore, I'm rewarding myself with this:

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March 17, 2009

Play Nail Shop with Barbie's Disembodied Hands

Barbie_totally_nails_stylin_handsAs a parent of a boy, I will admit that my son's toy interests have fallen pretty much in line with gender expectations: trucks, trains, Bionicles, etc. And, you know, that's fine. He's into what he's into. As a woman, and obviously a former little girl, I'm still intrigued in the toys that are targeted to girls. Some of them make me furious, some of them make me wish I was still 8 years old, and some of them just...baffle me.

Which brings me to the...things at left: Barbie Totally Nails Stylin' Hands.

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March 04, 2009

In Defense of the Snuggie

SnuggieLook. I know a ridiculous product when I see one, alright? All of your snarky criticisms of the Snuggie are not earth-shattering to me.

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February 19, 2009

Secret Diary of a Call Girl and Alternative Menstrual Products

Secretdiaryofacallgirl

Does the title of this post have you scratching your head? Well, just hear me out...

Guys and other non-menstruating types might find this a little uncomfortable, but I invite you to read anyway and gain some interesting information.

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February 10, 2009

Amazon Rolls Out Shiny New Kindle, But I Still Cling to My Books

Kindle2

Amazon rolled out its shiny new Kindle 2 yesterday and despite its admittedly glamorous makeover, I'm still not convinced.

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January 07, 2009

Wasteful "Nanny State" Law or Imperative Safety Regulation?

Goodwilltruck

Lead poisoning is no joke. We all know that its effects can be devastating, especially for children, and that it's important to make sure that it doesn't find its way into our paint, clothes, or toys. But a new law set to go into effect next month has many resale shops and independent toy and clothes makers extremely concerned.

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January 06, 2009

Three Words: Flirty. Girl. Fitness.

Fitness_pole

The Fitness Pole...not to be confused with the Festivus Pole.

I've never worked in advertising, so I don't know for sure, but I imagine that the period between Christmas and New Year's/the first few weeks of January are to advertising companies what Black Friday is (or was, before the economy went BOOM) to retailers. That's when the heavyweights and execs can take off on vacation and just let the interns handle everything because that period is a no-brainer guaranteed to rake in millions. They know exactly what 90% of the country is doing at that time: laying on the couch, finishing off that third tray of cookies (or maybe, at that point, just eating straight butter), wallowing in self-loathing, and thinking, "THIS year I'm going to do it. I'm going to lose 10...okay, 20...okay, 50 pounds. I just need to find the right product to buy to help me. That's why I've failed at that resolution year after year."

I mean...that's just a guess, mind you. Your experience might have been totally different. Ahem.

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December 22, 2008

RIP Sparks

Sparks_plus

Sure, this whole economic crisis has been tough on everybody: collapsing industries, massive layoffs, Iceland nearly imploded. But you know who's really been dealt a blow? People with crap taste in alcohol.

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December 18, 2008

Non-Specific Top However-Many-Items-I-Can-Think-of List for 2008

Thewire

Being asked to compile a best-of list always makes me happy that I have a blog, because I can never remember anything, not even pop culture that I've enjoyed in a 12-month period. But I have a "plop culture" category that I spent a few minutes perusing this morning and I said a lot of things like, "Oh, YEAH, that WAS awesome!"

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December 02, 2008

Looking For the Perfect Gift to Teach Your Child About the Financial Crisis?

Monopoly_20electronic_20banking_20e

Look no further than the Monopoly: Electronic Banking Edition.

Forget silly concepts like math! Forget boring your children with the tedious task of keeping track of how much pretend money they have DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THEM! Forget teaching them to count by fives and tens! Or that THIS house costs THIS much, and you only have THAT much, so you better wait until you have THAT much before you buy it! Dude, that's such outdated thinking.

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November 19, 2008

Tini Puppini Make My Head Explodini

Tinipuppini_dollhead

One of the Bitch Magazine blogs had an excellent piece up the other day about how completely stupid this whole sexy toys trend has become. The latest: sexy dogs called Tini Puppinis.

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November 13, 2008

Barbie, Oprah, Open Stores, Continue World Domination

Barbie_oprah

And I, for one, welcome our ultimate female powerhouse overlords.

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