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Signs Of The Apocalypse Archive


June 23, 2010

What Will Be The Next Movie Based On A Musical Based on a Movie?

Footloose  When Hollywood produced the movie version of the musical version of the Mel Brooks classic The Producers (a movie about a failed Broadway musical, to make things even more meta), it sounded to me like something from The Onion reflecting on the lack of original ideas in recent years, both on stage and on film. But it was for real, and was then followed by the film adaptation of the musical adaptation of the John Waters film Hairspray. And now Hollywood is doing it again, with Footloose, slated for a 2011 release. With no end in sight to the phenomenon, I have to wonder—what will be the next blockbuster film adaptation of a musical ripped off from Hollywood?

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June 22, 2010

Crazy Ladies With Money - What Happens When They Die?

Old-lady-378x500 You know that crazy old lady at the end of the block? You know who I am talking about. The one that owns ten dogs and feeds all the neighborhood's feral cats. The one that has chased you out of her yard with a broken broom and a can of mace. Yeah, that one. 

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June 02, 2010

From The Bad Moms Club: Bieber Fever - Et Tu, Grandma?

Grandma-150x150Sometimes, there are no words. Sometimes, it's best to just watch the YouTube and let it speak for itself. The Bad Moms Club has found said video, and it involves a granny with Bieber Fever.

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May 14, 2010

Holy Crap, I'm Going to Have to Learn to Silk Screen

Picture 10An Andy Warhol self-portrait sold for $32.5 million at an auction in New York this weekend - more than twice the expected auction price. The guys at Sotheby's said cha-ching!

A self portrait.

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May 12, 2010

A Love Letter to Andy Rooney

Andy-rooney  Dear Mr. Rooney,

Can I call you Andy? Will you rant on 60 Minutes for five minutes about how the "kids these days" don't have any respect for their elders? I would love it if you'd rant about me, can we make this happen?

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May 09, 2010

Miley Cyrus' "Can't Be Tamed": A Boon For Creepy Old Men Everywhere

Miley-cyrus-cant-be-tamed2 Happy Mother's Day to all my fellow Moms out there! Hope you have an amazing day! 

That said, I have some bad news for y'all...

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May 07, 2010

For $16,000 You Can Look Like Jessica Rabbit - Sort Of

Annette-jessica_rabbit_makeover Annette Edwards has always loved Jessica Rabbit. Okay, maybe not always, but certainly since 1988.

What do you do when you adore and admire a cartoon character? Get a tattoo? Buy an original drawing? Oh, hell no. That is weak. You get plastic surgery to look like her. Duh.

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May 04, 2010

Syfy Informs Us that WWE Is "Imagination-Based Sports Entertainment"

Wwe-wrestling About a year ago, the Sci Fi network took a dramatic step toward their rebranding and changed their name to Syfy. Because apparently the key to success is 1) spell things phonetically thereby removing all meaning 2) alienate your already alienated audience base 3) ... 4) PROFIT/DINOSHARK!

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April 29, 2010

FOX and ABC Still Hate Plus-Sized People

Lane-bryant-ashley-graham-bra-ad-underwear-lingerieFOX and ABC got caught being prejudiced again. The last time I wrote about them it was about how they wouldn't run a gay dating commercial. This time, ABC refused to air a Lane Bryant commercial because it showed too much cleavage.

(commercial after the jump)

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Upcoming 3D Movies I Might Pass On

3d-audience My family and I go to the movies a fair amount, usually at least once a month. And I'm one of those people who actually likes the 20 minutes of trailers that play before the movie. I like seeing what's going to be coming out so that I can say, "Ohh, that looks good, we'll have to see that," or mercilessly snark on it, a la Mystery Science Theater 3000.

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April 26, 2010

Comedy Central Censors South Park Because Of Death Threats From Nerds Posing As Muslims

Trey-Parker_Matt-Stone South Park has a long history of insulting religions because religious people are funny when they're mad. If religious people weren't so funny when they get all frothy and sputtery, South Park wouldn't make fun of them. But that's just not going to happen. For example, South Park pissed off some Muslims who want the creators dead. Like, dead dead. Because of a fucking cartoon. Yay monotheism!

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April 19, 2010

Celebrity Crimes Against Pants Watch: Ashley Olsen Edition

Picture 87 This is some impressive tight-rolling. I feel like there might even be an actual scrunchie involved. My seventh-grade self would be all, TUBULAR SKILLS, DUDE.

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April 16, 2010

Kiefer Sutherland Gets Thrown Out of Strip Club: For Stripping

Kiefer-sutherland No, no, no, Kiefer. When you go into a strip club the people who work there take of their clothes. You and the other patrons are supposed to keep your clothes on. Jesus, Sutherland, how do you expect a stripper to pay her way through college if you do her job for free?

I don't know what was going through his mind - maybe he thought he was in the champagne room, but a topless Kiefer Sutherland got thrown out of a "lap dance club called Stringfellows" in London on Thursday night.

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April 12, 2010

The Insane Clown Posse Ponders Some Science and S#*t

Insane-clown-posse In September 2009, the Insane Clown Posse released their eleventh studio album, entitled Bang! Pow! Boom! Recently, they released a music video for the single "Miracles." And, folks, it's EPIC.

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April 01, 2010

Madonna is a Hypocrite

Madonna-daughter-lourdes Madonna wants her 13 year old daughter, Lourdes, to dress more conservatively.

Ahem.

I myself am the parent of a young girl. I agree with the sentiment that thirteen year olds shouldn't dress like sluts. However, I do not feel like this particular woman has a leg to stand on.

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