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Signs Of The Apocalypse Archive


March 25, 2010

KISS is Hosting a Kids Show: Because that Makes Perfect Sense

Gene-simmons KISS and the Canadians are ganging up on the world. The iconic rock band's founder's Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley and E1 Entertainment are creating a kids television show.

God help us all.

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March 19, 2010

J-Lo Has Gone "Overboard"

J_lo_on_a_boat The first time I read that Jennifer Lopez had signed on to do a remake of "Overboard" I dismissed it.

That is silly, thought I. Sure, "Overboard" is funny, but it is only funny because of Goldie Hawn's delivery. Other than that it is a stupid, and dated movie.

But then I saw the rumor again, and it was all - Will Smith is producing a remake of "Overboard" and is in talks with J-Lo.

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March 16, 2010

Corey Haim's Family Sells His Stuff on E-Bay

Haim_shirtless_corey As if the fact that Corey Haim died at 38 while battling drug addiction wasn't sad enough - now his family is raising the money for his funeral by selling the cuter of the two Corey's belongings on eBay.

Dark.

So you know, you have about a day and a half left if you want to buy Corey Haim's used toothbrush.

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March 01, 2010

I Can Has Psychic Powers That Foretell Death

OscarSo Grey's Anatomy wasn't on, forcing me to explore the vast reaches of popular culture for writing fodder and, of course, I found a cat who predicts death.

I know the internet thrives on funny cats. Ha ha ha. Cats. But this cat, Oscar, is no laughing matter. If he snuggles you, you're fucked. I don't even like looking at his picture.

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February 24, 2010

Fashion is Danger: Isabel Mastache's Penis Pants

Isabel-Mastache-peen-pant You know how they always give the Project Runway designers to create an "avant garde" look, and it always just results in a lot of...dramatic ruffles and crap? They need to book Isabel Mastache as a guest judge STAT to show those bitches how avant garde is REALLY done.

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February 09, 2010

Selections for Your Snowbound Existence

Cabin_fever Many of your faithful MamaPop writers, myself included, are dealing with life under the current bizarro circumstances that come with one of the worst snowstorms ever.

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February 04, 2010

The Cyrus Virus: Your Children Are Already Infected

Noah-emily-bathing-beauties6Whuuu?  I'm sorry.  I could have sworn you said something about a line of lingerie for children.  But you couldn't have possibly said that.  You must have said, "arresting people for developing a line of lingerie for children" or "boiling people for making a line of lingerie for children".  Because if you said you're using your daughter to promote a line of lingerie for children,  I'd have to ask that you be removed from the planet.  I've made this request before, but now I must insist.

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February 01, 2010

CBS Can't Handle Gay Dating Commercial

Cbs_sucks_teddy_bear CBS, who has decided to run Tim Tebow's anti-abortion ad during the Super Bowl has rejected an ad from a gay dating site called Man Crunch because it "does not meet broadcast standards".

I think it is kind of funny. Watch for yourself.

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January 28, 2010

Apocalypse Man Would Eat Will Smith With Some Fava Beans And A Nice Chianti

Woman1Those who know me enjoy poking fun at my endless fascination with how we're all going to die horribly. Will it be a giant asteroid, a flash ice age, a zombie-plague, a simultaneous failure of all technology, or my personal favorite, a self-awareness fueled robocalypse?

Frankly, the anticipation is killing me.  And while my friends and others have a little fun at my expense, I am now validated by The History Channel's documentary show Apocalypse Man.  Ha.

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January 21, 2010

I Have An Idea! Turn Jackie Chan Into A Vampire.

The_spy_next_door I don't get out to the movies much anymore. I have two young children and that makes it tough. With that being said, it is very important for me to choose wisely when given the opportunity to engage in the rare trip to the cinema. I also don't watch TV very often, so my limited exposure to advertising, makes finding a movie worth the trip, almost impossible, without doing a little research via the internet or the newspaper. Because of all these obstacles, I rely heavily on intuition and blind faith. This weekend, I did just that and it wound up biting me in the ass.

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January 14, 2010

Gettin' Hitched? Consider a Go-Go for the Ceremony.

Picture 25 Are you getting married soon? Are you in the market for an officiant? Why not consider Reverend Sister Jane "Hush My Darling Don't You Cry" Wiedlin?

No really, she does weddings now.

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January 13, 2010

I'm Not Making This Up: Jon Gosselin & Michael Lohan Are Going To Box Each Other

Jon-gosselin-michael-lohan Are you goddamn kidding me?

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January 07, 2010

To Catch a Thief - World of Warcraft

World-of-warcraft-logo This is going to sound like the plot to a particularly geeky episode of Law & Order but it actually happened.

This guy named Alfred Hightower was in trouble with the law for dealing drugs and so he fled the country.

The fuzz tracked him down by checking up on his World of Warcraft character.

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January 05, 2010

BeautifulPeople.com Reminds Us of What Is Important in Life

Jocelyn_wildenstein The holiday season is about reflecting on what is good in life and finding some sense of gratitude and contentment, even in the darkest corners of existence. And New Year's is about obsessing over your flaws and embracing any superficial tendencies you have and resolving to become a better person and having nightmares about the plate of cookies that you ate. And one dating site is helping you to weed out the less-thans in life.

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December 31, 2009

My Top Ten Celebrity Memory Making Moments of 2009

Diddy-Joaquin-Phoenix Is it just me or has 2009 been chock o' full to the brim with unusually  head-scratching celebrity stuff? I found all the following stuff weird, interesting, or baffling and it just seems this year offered more fodder than usual. Either that or my memory is retaining more information which seems highly unlikely considering I can't even remember if I ate today.

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