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Talk Shows Archive

October 26, 2009

Jennifer Aniston Gets Talk Show; World Rolls Eyes

Jen aniston Look, I like Jennifer Aniston well enough. Who didn't like Rachel, and her hair? And she was in Office Space, one of the most underappreciated movies of all time, and also was actually pretty good in that movie with Jake Gyllenhaal, the one where she played a totally non-Rachel person who works at Wal-Mart or something and falls for Gyllenhaal's character who is like half her age but it's totally not like that sub-plot on Friends where Rachel dates her assistant. Yanno?

Anyway, she's getting a talk show, and I'm all, like, YAWN.


October 06, 2009

David Letterman Apologizes to Wife, Staff

Last night David Letterman indicated in his monologue that his dalliances with the staff have "hurt [his] wife horribly," and that he has his "work cut out for [him.]" Y'think, Dave? Letterman also took the time to apologize to pretty much his entire female staff, as his admission had probably led to more than a few eyebrow raises at happy hour for many of his staffers. 

Video and my opinion, as if you care, follow the jump.


September 29, 2009

Roman Polanski is a Rape-Rapist

*Disclaimer:* This article describes sexual violence that may be triggering to some readers. 


Quick poll: what word or phrase would you use to describe the act of inviting a 13-year-old girl to your friend's mansion, giving her champagne and quaaludes, and then penetrating her anally and vaginally while she protests and drifts in and out of consciousness? I'm guessing a lot of you would categorize those acts as rape. Some of you might actually not be able to form words for that sort of thing, because you're too sick to your stomach imagining such a thing happening to your child or the child of a loved one. 

Now let's say you're Whoopi Goldberg. Well, then I guess your answer is something like, "it wasn't 'rape-rape.'" Interesting.


September 17, 2009

Kate Gosselin Lands Own Talk Show, Is Called Names By Jon's Mistress

KateThis post is triple layered.  Like a Twix.  So, kick back and enjoy.  Because this is "Kate Gosselin's Week In Review". 

First things first.  How do you think Kate did on The View? (Clip after the jump.)  While she seemed slightly nervous, I thought she was earnest and compelling.  And that wavy hair?  Sort of loved it.  Although, I am a little tired of her limited vocabulary. 

But not nearly as tired as I am of Whoopi Goldberg's limited SENSE. OF. HUMOR.

"I wish you could squirt fertility treatments on money."


*cue nervous audience laughter* *cut to commercial*

How is this woman still hosting this show?

Anyway, apparently on the show Kate made mention of Jon (can we call you Dick?) allowing his girlfriend Hailey Glassman to be around their children.  Like any mature adult(ress) Hailey immediately took to Twitter.  And...I'm thinking she would get along well with Spencer Pratt.  See for yourself.


September 16, 2009

Whitney on Oprah Season Premiere - Part 2

Whitney_houston_oprah_winfrey Most of the heavy stuff in the two-part Whitney Houston interview was covered in part one, which makes me wonder why Oprah’s producers chose to stretch it into two hours. Kind of a tangent, but can I just say that Whitney Houston explaining to Oprah how you "sprinkle" base cocaine over pot before you roll it up and smoke it was perhaps one of the most surreal things I will ever see on television? And I used to watch Twin Peaks. Compared to that, this half was kinda boring, but there were still some moments worth sticking around for. After Houston's somewhat train-wrecky performance on Good Morning America two weeks ago—which she attributed to strain from yakking with Oprah the day before—I was most curious to hear if The Voice was indeed ruined by seven years away from the spotlight and 17 years of drug use. 

But before the "surprise" performance that Oprah's been plugging since last week, first we had to conclude the Bobby Brown saga.


September 15, 2009

Oprah's Whitney Houston Interview - Part 1

Whitney_houston_oprah For her two-part season premiere, Oprah sat down with Whitney Houston, star of music, movies and — most recently — tabloid scandals. Houston spoke candidly and anxiously about the pressures of stardom, her 14-year marriage to Bobby Brown, and her drug use. While Oprah appeared stunned by some of the things Houston related in the first part of their two-hour interview, I doubt that most of you would be very surprised at the things Houston confessed, because I think we've all learned by now that tabloids may be trashy, but they tell the truth more often than stars would like to admit.


September 07, 2009

Steve Mazan Laughs At Death On David Letterman

Steve_mazan OK. You wake up in the middle of the night in terrible pain. What's wrong? Well. You've got a rare form of intestinal cancer that spread to your liver.

What do you do?

Your doctors tell you the tumors are slow growing and you could have 10-15 years. Worst case scenario. 5 years.

What do you do?

I can tell you what I'd do. I'd get a bunch of root beer and licorice and feel sorry for myself. I'd manipulate my loved ones into pampering me by inspiring guilt via my excessive self-pity.

And then hopefully, with any luck, I'd remember the soul-inspiring story of Steve Mazan, get off my ass, and stake my claim in magic.


August 20, 2009

Another Scandal To Make Oprah Winfrey Look Like A Dupe

Oprah_winfrey Oh, Oprah. You want so badly to help people in need. Nevertheless, it seems to bite you in the ass so often. Faced with endless human suffering at home and abroad, you give and you give, yet in return you get opportunistic swindlers and jerkwads of the highest order. You provide a couple authors some amazing publicity with your wildly popular book club, only to later find you've endorsed a fake rehab memoir and a "non-fiction" Holocaust survival/love story that turned out also to be fabricated. And let's not even get into the sex scandals—plural—at your school in South Africa.

And now, four of the evacuees who received aid from your Angel Network after the horrific Hurricane Katrina tragedy have been brought up on charges for trying to obtain housing aid from FEMA, even though you already built them houses, meaning they shouldn't need housing aid. The fuck? 


June 29, 2009

It's Official: The Daily Show Makes The White House Piddle Their Pants

Jon_stewart Oh ye of little faith! All of you (okay, me too) thought that political comedy was going to be a little thin on the ground once Obama took office, right?  WELL. Everyone on both sides of the playing field take note, cause there's plenty of funny in this story for everyone. Well, unless you're Dick Cheney. Then you're pretty much screwed.

So who is really making politicians sweat these days, and what is the White House doing in order to save face with this superpower? Whoever could it be???

I'll give you a hint: He's a snarky New Yorker on basic cable.


June 26, 2009

Why Shia LaBeouf is One of My New Favorites

Shia_laboeuf Shia LaBeouf has always reminded me of a younger Harrison Ford, except not as menstrual. Ford always seems crabby and I've rarely seen photos of him with a smile on his face. Maybe he's constipated a lot.

LaBeouf always seems amiable and gracious, yet he definitely exudes some sort of leading man appeal. A former Disney star ("Even Stevens") LaBeouf has transitioned well and with minimal awkwardness from that of child actor to adult actor. And he's half-cajun!

He recently appeared on the "Today" show to promote "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" and a fangirl made it the one of the cutest interviews ever.


June 18, 2009

Lauren Conrad Tells All About The Hills

Lauren_conrad Wow, Lauren Conrad is dropping bombshells about The Hills' behind-the-scenes now that she's not on the payroll.

Only not really. Like, at all. 

You guys, please prepare yourself for the most unshocking spoiler in the history of television reveals:


June 11, 2009

David Letterman Is Maybe No Longer On My Top Ten List


Oh, David Letterman. What are we going to do with you?

I mean, I applaud your willingness to go out on a limb for a joke. It's what makes you watchable, as opposed to, say, Jay Leno, who was never watchable, because, seriously. But then you go and make a joke that seems to mock child rape and you know, I think that that might have been a bit too much.


April 15, 2009

Notes for Jimmy Kimmel: This Probably Should Have Been a More Uncomfortable Interview Topic

Lil_wayne_jimmy_kimmel Here are two topics I don't care too much about: Jimmy Kimmel and Lil Wayne. They both seem like perfectly fine guys, but from an artistic standpoint, nothing that either of them has ever done has really appealed to me.
But one aspect of Lil Wayne's recent appearance on Kimmel's show really has me skeeved out.


March 11, 2009

P Diddy Says He Did Chris Brown and Rihanna "A Favor" By Letting Them Use His Home

Sean_combs This story makes me madder and madder every time a new item about it hits.  The whole Nickelodeon leaving Chris Brown on the ballot of the Kids Choice Awards?  Do they leave all accused felons on the ballot or just men who beat up women?

And now Diddy, Puffy, what the hell is his name, has weighed in to say he "did them a favor" by opening up his home for the Chris Brown and Rihanna reconciliation when he was interviewed on the Ellen Degeneres show yesterday.  He also explained twitter during the interview.  I have no idea how those two things go together.


March 05, 2009

Does The Presumption of Innocence Apply To The Media? Dan Abrams Does Not Think So

Abramsrus Dan Abrams, the Chief Legal Correspondent for NBC News and MSNBC, recently called the long held presumption of innocence "hogwash."  You know the presumption of innocence, the idea that someone is innocent until proven guilty.  It comes out of something we Americans like to call the Constitution.

Then again, some of our former Presidents haven't read the Constitution.  Why would we expect a newsman to have read it?

To be fair, Dan didn't say the entire presumption of innocence was hogwash.  Just the idea that the media has to abide by the presumption of innocence is hogwash.


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