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Talk Shows Archive

February 12, 2009

The Most Awesome Joaquin Phoenix Interview Ever

"Joaquin, I'm sorry you couldn't be here tonight," quipped Dave Letterman after one of the most bizarre interviews I've ever seen - even for Joaquin Phoenix.

Phoenix, Rick Rubin, and Alan Moore (the latter authored "Watchmen and "V for Vendetta") should start a hairy man club. Phoenix sat in his contrasting suit and scruff and fielded the majority of Letterman's questions with monosyllabic responses; Letterman admonished him: "I'll just come to your house and sit and chew gum" (Phoenix stuck it under his desk), and asked the actor-turned-"rapper" about his relationship with Ted Kaczynski. I thought the interview was very cringe-worthy, but despite Phoenix's best efforts, now more than ever, I'm totally not buying the New Joaquin.


February 06, 2009

Is Society a Little Too Interested in Nadya Suleman's Vagina?

Until now I've been completely uninterested in the story of the Octo-Mom for several reasons. So what if a woman wants to have a kerpillion children? I'm unperturbed unless we, as taxpayers, have to foot the bill for her loin fruit, in which case we are entitled to air our opinions. And then I caught her interview this morning. Maybe it's just me, but when I saw Nadya Suleman the first thought in my head was "Oh WHO you fooling? You Angelina wannabe." This is the only way I can imagine how someone would justify having buttcheeks implanted horizontally to where their mouth should be. 


December 30, 2008

More Made-Up Memoirs


Oh, YAY. It's another literary liar. I LOVE these guys.

No, really, I do. I am endlessly fascinated with fakers, from Janet Cooke to James Frey to (oh my god my FAVORITE) Margaret Seltzer. Or perhaps I just kind of admire the incredible BALLS it requires to be all, "Yeah, I was an eight-year-old heroin addict who was saved from the Holocaust by a gang of East L.A. wolves who threw apples at me, and stuff. What part of that don't you believe?"


December 09, 2008

Good News! You Will Soon Be Able To Not Watch Jay Leno a Whole Hour and a Half Earlier


The Tonight Show host is getting a new bedtime. An earlier one. Which is good, because he's old.


December 03, 2008

New Host of NBC's Meet the Press Named, Maybe


I'm a political junkie and love Meet The Press.  I was devastated when Tim Russert died. Tom Brokaw has been doing a nice job pinch hitting since his death.

It was announced yesterday that David Gregory will be the new permanent host of Meet the Press by everyone except NBC. NBC refused to confirm that. But it was widely reported in the press. 


November 18, 2008

Tyra Surprises ANTM Contestant With Sex Reassignment Surgery


Isis King, the pre-op trangendered contestant on this season of America's Next Top Model, is finally getting her sex reassignment surgery, and it was Miss Tyra herself who put the whole plan in motion.

I most remember Isis, who was eliminated early in the competition, not for being transgendered, but for her eyes. To me, they held the weight of the world, and it was the lack of vibrancy and life in her photographs that sent her packing from the competition. I hope that now she will really be able to, as Tyra says endlessly, "smile with her eyes."


October 31, 2008

I've Got a Bee in My Bonnet, And Its Name Is Dr. Phil


Before I get into my issue with a specific episode from this week's "Dr. Phil", I need to make two things very clear so that we can lay them aside and get on with the topic at hand.

Firstly, I am well aware that his is an entertainment show like any other, and it has to maintain its ratings like any other show does, so I am not surprised when he chooses controversial topics and controversial guests.  It is to be expected.  This is how he keeps viewers interested and attracts advertisers.

Secondly, let's also put aside the fact that Dr. Phil himself is not known to be the most stellar example of honesty.  His license for private practice was revoked by the Texas State Board of Examiners of Psychologists in 1988 after he was allegedly in what was termed an "inappropriate dual relationship" with a 19-year-old employee who was also his patient.  His line of diet shakes, energy bars, and nutritional supplements called Shape Up! came under scrutiny when its claims to effect weight loss came under fire.  His past business practices have also been heavily criticized.

So, now that we have established that "Dr. Phil" is as ratings-grabbing a talk show as any other and is led by a man with a somewhat spotty professional history, our expectations of the show can only be so high, and yet I am still bothered by Wednesday's episode, "Gender Confused Kids", and his treatment of the controversial issue of childhood gender identity confusion.  It was heinous.


October 04, 2008

Beth O. Married Howard Stern, Does That Make Her "The Queen of All Media?"


With a never ending parade of strippers, porn stars and Sybian rides, there seems to be very little that makes Howard Stern uncomfortable when it comes to women. Except maybe marrying another one.   

After his divorce from Alison Bern in 2001 he swore he would never get married again.

Well, never say never. Last night, in an intimate ceremony at swank-o-licious Le Cirque restaurant in New York, Howard Stern and his girlfriend of eight years, Beth Ostrosky, got hitched.

But enough about him, let’s talk about me. I have loved Howard Stern for more than twenty years; however, as a 39-year-old, suburban “soccer mom,” I’d sooner admit to genital warts than to being a loyal long-time listener of “The King of All Media.”

Now I know a lot of you may be horrified and will unleash the tedious tirade: “Blah blah blah sexist, blah blah blah racist, Anti-Christ, blah blah pig...” All right Sister McJudgey the truth is--you just don’t get it.


October 01, 2008

Bill Maher Latest To Observe "The View" Is BANANAS


I don't know if y'all watch "The View" as religiously as I do, but perhaps you're not masochistic. Good for you! The point is that if you watch, and your brain hasn't bled out of your ears yet, perhaps you have noticed that the ladies have very possibly lost their damn minds, and have definitely lost control of the show. That is, if they ever had control of it in the first place.

The latest victim/perpetrator/guest to illustrate that "The View" is completely out of hand was Bill Maher, who was on the show Tuesday to discuss his new movie "Religulous." It went...as well as Bill Maher on The View could go. As in...not well.


September 25, 2008

Martha Stewart's Daughter Has Mommy Issues


The premise is great. Take old Martha Stewart Living episodes and rip them apart, making vicious fun of the Grande Dame herself and all the twee arts and crafts crap she tried to teach us to do (to no avail) when the show was on from 1999-2004. You know, before Martha went to the slammer and got her street cred. Two interesting and awesome plot twists, though.

1. Martha came up with the idea herself after a late night Mystery Science Theater 3000 marathon.

2. Martha's daughter Alexis would be hosting the show.

I'm laughing already.


September 22, 2008

Elizabeth Hasselbeck Is Maybe Probably Leaving The View

Hasselbeck_2 Elizabeth Hasselbeck is possibly leaving The View.

*vague sort-of happy feelings, since I don't really watch The View, but have seen enough web clips to know that Elizabeth is not exactly the sharpest pencil of that bunch*

Elizabeth Hasselbeck is possibly getting her own show on Fox News.

*strangled gagging noises*


September 17, 2008

Gwyneth Paltrow and I Have At Least One Thing in Common

I just got back from a long weekend in Toronto where I spent four days eating, sleeping and playing with my beautiful two-year-old nephew. I also read through roughly 15 magazines on both the flights up and back, which may be the only perk of flying: guiltlessly buying ridiculously priced magazines to read to pass the time. One magazine I picked up was the October issue of "O." In the issue, an article on an upcoming PBS show, "Spain ... on the Road Again" was highlighted. This show will chronicle the travels of Oscar-winner Gwyneth Paltrow and her dear friend, Iron Chef's Mario Batali, around Spain as they enjoy Spanish food, culture and wine. In addition to the October-issue feature, both Gwyneth and Mario will be on Wednesday's (9/17) episode of Oprah, discussing the PBS program, their food philosophies and how Gwyneth could possibly eat her way through Spain and still look red-carpet perfect.


Easy, Breezy, Beautiful...Ellen


Yesterday, on her show, Ellen confirmed rumors that she will be the new spokesmodel for CoverGirl cosmetics; CoverGirl's website has also confirmed the deal. The ad campaign will roll out in January.


September 12, 2008

McCain Gets Bitch-Slapped by Barbara & Behar


John McCain appeared on The View today and let me say that I haven’t seen a pounding like this since Rocky was training in a meat locker.

Aside from Elizabeth Hasselbeck, who I thought might actually start dry humping him, everyone else looked like they wanted a Purell bath after the awkward entrance hugs.

Once seated he asked, slightly irritated, “Could I…go ahead?” while the ladies on the couch/chairs clucked over one another annoyingly.

He made a flimsy attempt to joke about Joy Behar’s party affiliations by saying that, from her appearance on Larry King Live, it was clear that she was an “undecided.” (The appearance in which she said that she thought, if elected he’d go back to being the “old” John McCain—redundant—unless the Republican base had him by the “short hairs.”) The audience actually booed.

Dude, seriously, you’re sitting next to the guy who (if there is no God) could “end you,” come January.


September 11, 2008

John Ramsey Speaks for the First Time Since He Was Exonerated


John Ramsey gave his first interview since he was "Exonerated" yesterday.  Oprah used that term and I take issue with it.  To actually be exonerated, you have to have been convicted, and as we all well know, the Ramseys were never convicted.  There were never even charged, and in fact, the grand jury refused to issue an indictment.  Cleared, or no longer under investigation would have been a better way to phrase it. 

He said he forgives the media for their "cyberspace lynching" he and his wife endured.  He also said that his wife, Patsy, packed a blue dress whenever they traveled so that if the killer was found and she was interviewed she would have a blue dress, which looks good on T.V.  His interview was short and the show focused more closely on Elizabeth Smart and had an interview with Shawn Hornbeck, another teenage abduction victim.


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