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Teh Crazy Archive


June 22, 2010

Crazy Ladies With Money - What Happens When They Die?

Old-lady-378x500 You know that crazy old lady at the end of the block? You know who I am talking about. The one that owns ten dogs and feeds all the neighborhood's feral cats. The one that has chased you out of her yard with a broken broom and a can of mace. Yeah, that one. 

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June 18, 2010

When Housewives Start Getting Real, Maybe We Should Stop Watching

Kelly-bensimon Last night's finale of the three-part Real Housewives of New York reunion again addressed the mental stability (or lack thereof) of castmember Kelly Killoren Bensimon. Bensimon spurred many a Twitter "OMGWTF" with her erratic, emotional behavior throughout this season of RHoNY, culminating in a full-on meltdown during a weekend getaway with other castmates, where she accused fellow Housewife Alex McCord of being a "vampire", claimed Housewife Bethenny Frankel was trying to kill her, and verbally spouted a lengthy barrage of incoherent thoughts that even confused Lost fans. I don't know about you guys, but that type of incident generally harshes the buzz of a beachfront vacay.

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June 17, 2010

Ozzy Osbourne's DNA to Be Mapped, Played Backwards to Find Satanic Messages

Ozzy-osbourne A group of scientists at a genetics firm have plans to analyze Ozzy Osbourne's genetic code purportedly to better understand how drugs are absorbed into the body. Osbourne was chosen for this project because of his notoriously excessive abuses and seemingly miraculous survival.

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June 08, 2010

Will Smith Was Right After All - Parents Just Don't Understand

Jazzy-fresh  Who'd have thunk it? Either I am getting old or pop culture just keeps getting weirder and weirder.

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June 02, 2010

Nerds, Let's Get Butt Naked and Spell

Strip-spelling-beesAmong Canadian hipsters, there's a new craze burgeoning fast on the heels of burlesque: STRIP SPELLING BEES. Crazy Canucks.

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May 27, 2010

Rage Against the Baby Bump Watch

Halle-berry-baby-bump1 You know what pisses me off? The baby bump watch.

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May 20, 2010

Real Ninja Foil Mugging

Ninja-toy If you were mugged, wouldn't you want to be saved by a pack of ninja? Well, it actually happened.

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May 18, 2010

Parenting Lindsay Lohan [Celebrity Kids Gone Bad]

Lindsay-Lohan-Rolex-Thief Hey, it's Tuesday!  Guess what time it is?  That's right, it's that time for a series I just made up in my head: Celebrity Kids Gone Bad, wherein we play the hypothetical game.

What would you do if you woke up tomorrow morning and BAM!  You're suddenly Lindsay Lohan's parent?

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May 17, 2010

Christian Anti-Kissing Video Goes Viral, Causes Chills and Cramps

Pamelas-prayer

Want to see something creepy? Like maybe this clip from a Christian abstinence "education" video about waiting until you're married...to kiss?

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May 14, 2010

Holy Crap, I'm Going to Have to Learn to Silk Screen

Picture 10An Andy Warhol self-portrait sold for $32.5 million at an auction in New York this weekend - more than twice the expected auction price. The guys at Sotheby's said cha-ching!

A self portrait.

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May 12, 2010

If My Parents Named Me Guerdwich Montimere, I'd Be an Imposter, Too, If It Meant I Could Have a New Name

Guerdwich-montimere I loves me a good imposter story: Guerdwich Montimere, a 22-year-old former basketball player at Fort Lauderdale's Dillard High School was also, until recently, a 16-year-old high school basketball player named Jerry Joseph at Permian High School in Odessa, Texas.

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May 07, 2010

For $16,000 You Can Look Like Jessica Rabbit - Sort Of

Annette-jessica_rabbit_makeover Annette Edwards has always loved Jessica Rabbit. Okay, maybe not always, but certainly since 1988.

What do you do when you adore and admire a cartoon character? Get a tattoo? Buy an original drawing? Oh, hell no. That is weak. You get plastic surgery to look like her. Duh.

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April 26, 2010

Comedy Central Censors South Park Because Of Death Threats From Nerds Posing As Muslims

Trey-Parker_Matt-Stone South Park has a long history of insulting religions because religious people are funny when they're mad. If religious people weren't so funny when they get all frothy and sputtery, South Park wouldn't make fun of them. But that's just not going to happen. For example, South Park pissed off some Muslims who want the creators dead. Like, dead dead. Because of a fucking cartoon. Yay monotheism!

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April 16, 2010

Kiefer Sutherland Gets Thrown Out of Strip Club: For Stripping

Kiefer-sutherland No, no, no, Kiefer. When you go into a strip club the people who work there take of their clothes. You and the other patrons are supposed to keep your clothes on. Jesus, Sutherland, how do you expect a stripper to pay her way through college if you do her job for free?

I don't know what was going through his mind - maybe he thought he was in the champagne room, but a topless Kiefer Sutherland got thrown out of a "lap dance club called Stringfellows" in London on Thursday night.

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April 15, 2010

There Are So Many Things Wrong With This Cover, I Don't Know Where To Start

Life and Style coverPunch #1 to the nuts of feminism: Kim Kardashian has lost 5 lbs in 5 days to exact revenge on her former boyfriend, Reggie Bush, for moving on too quickly.  Because that's healthy.  Not just the pound-a-day diet, the idea that she needed to get skinnier to make her ex jealous. 

And that's just the beginning of wrongness that is splattered all over the place with this week's Life & Style cover.

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