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Teh Crazy Archive

April 14, 2010

Fuzzy Wuzzy Was Disgusting, or Was She? It's a Hairy Situation When It Comes to Mo'Nique, Amanda Palmer, and Their Shaggy Sisters

Julia-roberts-hairy-armpit We have been conditioned to see body hair on women as brazen and unpalatable. While men's armpit, leg, and chest hair is out and about all over the globe, an otherwise pulchritudinous Julia Roberts is suddenly seen as unclean, her hirsute armpit a shameful slap in the face of social decency.

In an age when remaining as hairless as a nine-year-old girl is seen as a nearly mandatory social requirement for women, there is a slow swell rising against the tide of our present definition of femininity. Who are these women who have dared to bare their hair and brave the finger-wagging masses?


April 13, 2010

Best Worst Movie Trailer


I can't believe I haven't seen this movie -- "Troll 2" -- which is apparently so horrendously bad a specimen of B-Moviedom that a documentary has been made in honor of its epic, unprecedented awful.

I can't wait to see it, of course.


April 12, 2010

The Insane Clown Posse Ponders Some Science and S#*t

Insane-clown-posse In September 2009, the Insane Clown Posse released their eleventh studio album, entitled Bang! Pow! Boom! Recently, they released a music video for the single "Miracles." And, folks, it's EPIC.


March 11, 2010

Serial Killer Won "Dating Game"

Picture 11 Not that you need another reason not to go on "The Dating Game", but if you were considering using your hot tub time machine for this purpose I should tell you something - Bachelor #1 is going to start killing people in about nine months.


March 05, 2010

Naomi Campbell Probably Didn't Beat Up Her Limo Driver So Just Shut Up Already


Those of us who know Naomi Campbell understand her to be a calm and collected person. A beacon of peace in an otherwise turbulent and chaotic existence. A symbol of rationality in a world gone mad. And that's exactly why I didn't believe her limo driver when he said that our angelic Naomi had assaulted him while he was driving her around Manhattan. Sure, whatever, buddy. *puts thumb to open mouth and makes drinking signal*


February 25, 2010

Best Closing Credits To Judge Judy? We Have A Winner!

Screen-capture I have no earthly idea what happened between these people (and frankly, don't care), but my god, this? IS COMEDY GOLD.


February 24, 2010

Spencer Pratt Tries to Outdo Heidi Montag's Fake Addiction with His Own Fake Addiction

Spencer_pratt_crystal_thumb HA HA HA HO HO HO. This Spencer Pratt character is such a card.

Remember how his once-cute wife, Heidi Montag, suddenly came down with an addiction to plastic surgery that expressed itself all in one day? I think Pratt figured that they were on to something with this addiction thing, and, because they need attention to get paid, he decided that he needed to one-up her brand of fake crazy (see: bland, also boring) with an even stupider brand of fake crazy.

Spencer Pratt has decided that he is ADDICTED TO CRYSTALS.


Fashion is Danger: Isabel Mastache's Penis Pants

Isabel-Mastache-peen-pant You know how they always give the Project Runway designers to create an "avant garde" look, and it always just results in a lot of...dramatic ruffles and crap? They need to book Isabel Mastache as a guest judge STAT to show those bitches how avant garde is REALLY done.


February 23, 2010

Lindsay Lohan's Interview With The Sun: Perhaps Not Everything It's "Cracked" Up To Be

Lindsay Lohan shots_The Sun Oh, Lindsay. I just want to don a Haz-Mat suit and a pair of latex gloves and just hug the shit out of you.

Lindsay, for reasons only she knows *wink-wink*, granted an interview to The Sun, published February 22, 2010, in which she details her drug abuse and hitting "rock bottom."


February 18, 2010

Is Katie Price Using Her Daughter To Infuriate Her Ex? My Magic Eight Ball Says Probably.

Katie_price Katie Price, aka glamour model Jordon slash fashion designer for slutty looking equestrians, appears to be antagonizing her ex-husband Peter Andre via their daughter's appearance.


February 12, 2010

Oh Lindsay, They Can't Make It Any Easier For You To Make Money. Why Screw It Up?

Lindsay-lohan-drinking The fact that Linsday Lohan is still being offered money to do something legal is becoming really hard for me to believe. And the fact that Lindsay Lohan can't be bothered to take people up on the offers to make legal money is even more difficult for me to believe.


February 09, 2010

Selections for Your Snowbound Existence

Cabin_fever Many of your faithful MamaPop writers, myself included, are dealing with life under the current bizarro circumstances that come with one of the worst snowstorms ever.


February 03, 2010

Either Fake Is the New Normal, Or Tina Fey Has Had Quite the Boob Job

Tina_fey_date_night So, I was heading into one of those Galaxy theatre monstrosities on the weekend to go see Avatar in 3D — which is worth it, I loved it, screw people's criticisms, stop overthinking stuff, etc. — and they had one of those two-storey high posters for Tina Fey and Steve Carell's new film, Date Night, plastered all over the side of the building. When my eyes travelled up, up, up, they couldn't help themselves but stop to rest on Fey's poorly photoshopped cleavage.

"What the hell is that?" I said, pointing out the poster to my friends. "Is fake the new normal?"


January 29, 2010

Heidi Montag's Mommy Make-Over

Heidi_montag Spencer Pratt might want to think twice before curling up by the fire with his newly-buxom wife, Heidi Montag. Girlfriend is so full of plastic, she might just melt.


January 22, 2010

Kanye West Is Not Invited to Clooney's Hope for Haiti Telethon Tonight. Color Me Not Surprised.

Kanye_westFollowing his outburst during the Hurricane Katrina telethon and his ridiculous behaviour when he interrupted Taylor Swift's acceptance speech, Kanye West is finding himself left out in the cold when it comes to being invited to live events. The latest public diss comes from George Clooney's Haitian relief effort Hope for Haiti Now: A Global Benefit for Earthquake Relief telethon that airs tonight at 8 p.m. ET/PT.


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