You know how they say you learn something new every day? Today I learned that Victoria Beckham refers to David's family jewels as 'Golden Balls'. As an added bonus, I also learned that some Italian TV presenter tried to check out David's gilded nuts herself -- without asking and on camera.
I'm sure we all have moments where we fear we've made some mistakes and bad choices as parents. But WOW, I think it's pretty safe to say NOTHING you've done has anything on these people.
Oh, I wish I were kidding, but I am very much not. Neither is Jennifer Love Hewitt. She's so not kidding about vagazzling that she included a whole chapter about it in her new book, The Day I Shot Cupid, due out in March. What does "vagazzling" even mean, you wonder?
Vagazzling means that JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT THINKS YOU SHOULD GLUE SWAROVSKI CRYSTALS TO YOUR VAGINA TO HELP YOUR BROKEN HEART BE WHOLE AGAIN.
Are you getting married soon? Are you in the market for an officiant? Why not consider Reverend Sister Jane "Hush My Darling Don't You Cry" Wiedlin?
No really, she does weddings now.
Here is one of the stupidest and most unnecessary descriptors I have ever heard attributed to sneakers: bridal. BRIDAL SNEAKERS.
The Lovely Bride carries these for when you want your feet to look like a pair of specialized cakes at a party for nurses.
Tila Tequila, famous for... stuff, I guess. What is she primarily famous for again? Is it for being an über-cutesy, slutty bisexual who can really work a pole?
Anyway, Tila Tequila, famous for turning über-cutesy and slutty bisexuality into a reality dating television series, apparently believes that Nicky Hilton and Bijou Phillips intend to put her late fiancée Casey Johnson's pups to death so that they can bury the dogs with their owner.
Christopher Lee has announced his plans to release a symphonic metal concept album.
Yes, THAT Christopher Lee. Yes, Count Dooku and Saruman the White. Yes, the 87 year old actor, Sir Christopher Lee.
Oh! If your mind isn't blown yet, wait until I tell you the concept.
I always thought that people who had a panic room in their house automatically qualified as clinically paranoid. I mean, really, who needs a panic room? If you are at high risk for a home invasion you can get a really nice alarm system or some beefeaters or something. Right?
Kurt Westergaard actually needed and used his panic room on Friday.
Is it just me or has 2009 been chock o' full to the brim with unusually head-scratching celebrity stuff? I found all the following stuff weird, interesting, or baffling and it just seems this year offered more fodder than usual. Either that or my memory is retaining more information which seems highly unlikely considering I can't even remember if I ate today.
My family and I were taking in our annual viewing of the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer TV special the other night. We are total sheep in that our holiday season is not complete without watching that claymation awesomeness.
This story in itself doesn't seem that unique: Robin Gibb, the beardless one from the Bee Gees, was having an affair with the hired help and his wife kicked the mistress out. We've all seen that before *cough* Ethan Hawke and the nanny *cough* and this story had kind of the same results. Well not really but kinda.
We all remember heroin chic, right? Remember Kate Moss looking like she was at death's door and she just rolled out of bed after a week long bender to answer it?
Now there is something on the other side of the grave.
I think, as a writer, I should be irritated or offended that R. Kelly has a deal to write his memoir, and I should use this opportunity to rant about how they'll give book deals to anyone, but I'm not.
I don't know what the hell is going on in New Delhi, India but apparently it involves a good deal of public urination.
I mean, it is enough of an issue to require an ad campaign with cute little guys with adorable names.
There was no Grey's Anatomy this week, so we interrupt this weekly recap to bitch about The Biggest Loser. Shut the hell up, Jillian.
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