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Teh Crazy Archive

November 30, 2009

The Hasselhoffs Had a Rough Weekend (or God Hassles the Hoffs)

Haaelhoff_crazy I don't care how much your family pissed you off during the holiday weekend, you should have been giving thanks that your last name was not Hasselhoff because those guys had a terrible weekend.


November 26, 2009

Sex in Movies Doesn't Increase Profit. Hollywood Shocker!

No%20sex%20sign[1] A recent article from Miller-McCune recently came to the astounding conclusion that nudity and sex don't help movies make any money. No, seriously, someone spent money to trend out five years of data to prove this. The thing is they are also incredibly blind, with regards to the actual facts in the matter.


November 25, 2009

VIDEO: Twilight "Intervention"

New-moon-wolf-pack I'm one of those people that can take or leave the Twilight series.  I've read the books, seen the movies, and I'm all Team Jacob, all the time, but it's more about me liking warm and furry than loving on a cold dead teenager.  I don't deconstruct the series into massive prose on feminism, but only because I don't care that much.


Redheads At Risk: The Danger Of Being A "Ginger"

Gingers Okay, this is deeply messed up. Apparently being a "ginger" is now hazardous to your health.


November 23, 2009

Weird Science: Galileo's Missing Fingers Found at Last

Severed Fingers I know it is a little late for Halloween but do you guys want to hear something really scary? They just rediscovered two of Galileo's fingers in Italy.

Actually, two of his fingers and a tooth.


November 17, 2009

I Might Pick Watching Jon Gosselin Over This

Heidi_spencer_5 So, it seems Heidi and Spencer aren't content acting like the worst-matched couple in reality-television history on "The Hills" alone each week and would prefer to "branch out" to a show of their very own. Because, OH YES, that's precisely what this world needs: a little more Heidi and Spencer.


November 03, 2009

Spike Jonze Slaps Kanye West

Kanye_west_spike_jonze Well, not really, but in a viral promotion video for a short film collaboration between the two, Jonze answers the eternal question that Rick James reportedly posed to Charlie Murphy one night, long ago, in the China Club. That question, of course, being, "What did the five fingers say to the face?"


October 28, 2009

Gossip Rag Wednesday: Old News Edition

Fresh, new covers with dusty, old content! Whoo! Most of the tabloids this week seem to be reporting news that isn't actually news to anyone at all. Let's see exactly what we've got here.


October 26, 2009

Balloon Boy's Mom Confesses to Hoax

Hot-air-balloon-denver-colorado-pic-ap-3069131 Well, well, so I was right.  In a signed affidavit, Mayumi Heene, the mother of "Balloon Boy," admitted the whole nonsense was a hoax in order to get the family more media attention for a reality show.  Dad still isn't talking.


October 22, 2009

10 Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Tattoos, Plus the One On This Shameless Author's Butt

Tattoo_entire_face_small As long as there are people with bad ideas and it is legal to outfit other people with bad ideas with tattoo guns, we will have bad tattoos, and, man, are there some bad tattoos out there. Even Hayden Panettiere's got one. I feel for her, though, because I, too, had a brain fart in my youth, and now I've got my own slightly embarrassing butt tattoo. Here, let me show you it...


October 13, 2009

Awesome Documentaries about Very Specific Things

HelveticaBecause I am a frazzled working mom, I'm often way behind on seeing movies with smaller releases. This obviously applies to documentaries since I'm not in a huge release market and these things tend to fly through theaters anyway.

Thankfully, Netflix (and other such services) exist, so I'm able to catch up on some of the awesome stuff that I miss. Most recently, I rented and adored two documentaries that are about subjects so very micro that they're almost ridiculous: Helvetica (the font) and Donkey Kong.


October 12, 2009

Miss Plastic Hungary is Real, Well Sort Of

Miss-plastic-hungary-reka-urban If you live in Hungary and really want to be in a beauty pageant but you are ugly - or even slightly sub-standard looking, fear not, there is an event just for you.

Well, fear not if you have piles of money.

The Miss Plastic Hungary pageant actually requires that a contestant has had extensive surgical enhancement to qualify.

Oh how I wish I were making this up.


Welcome To My Nightmares, Lady Gaga.


No, really. Make yourself right at home, Lady. Seems that you fit right in, what with, you know, the horrible massacres of Hello Kitty dolls and all.


October 09, 2009

Stars, They're Just (Not) Like Us! (Thank God.)

Lady gaga Whether it's alcohol, cocaine, plastic surgery, or just good old fashioned The Crazy, some stars just can't seem to keep it together.  It goes to show you that money can't buy good taste.  Or judgment.  Or sometimes even pants.

Let's start with a New York Fashion Week after party where one miss Lady Gaga showed us her va-jay-jay.  (It could've been worse.  It could've been her pe-jay-jay.  Must be nice for her to have a choice.)

She's such a mess that I sort of love her.

More celeb disasters after the jump.


October 07, 2009

Mel Gibson Retroactively Sober; Anti-Semitic Rant Still Going Strong

Mel_Gibson We've always thought of Hollywood as a magical land of make-believe, where dreams come to life and anything that can be imagined can be made real on the screen. But in a stunning new twist that seems to defy the generally acknowledged laws of the space-time continuum, Mel Gibson has suddenly and miraculously gone back in time and stopped himself from driving drunk.

As MamaPop's Jodifur reported only a week ago, onetime idol of millions Gibson has been seeking to have his DUI expunged from the legal record, as is apparently the right of first-time DUI convictees who manage to make their way successfully through court-ordered meetings and public service. On Tuesday, that wish was granted by a California judge.


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