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Television Archive


June 25, 2010

Evie Garland in Out of This World [Where Are They Now?]

Maureen-Flannigan-Out-of-This-World  Out of this World, an old favorite television show of mine, was a sitcom that told the story of a thirteen year old girl whose father was an alien and whose mother an Earthling.  Her father's alien DNA gives the girl, Evie, special powers to stop time when she touches two fingers together.  Hijinks ensued!

So (say it with me, okay?), Where Is She Now?

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June 24, 2010

The Transcredible Exploits of Futurama!

Futurama_characters_small Finally. After years of waitin' and hopin', Futurama returns to the TV-O-Matic on Comedy Central tonight. But will the series be able to keep up the funny? A spoiler-free review of the first two episodes after the jump!

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Top Chef DC Recap: Episode 2, Out of the Lunch Box

Top-chef-cleaver It is week two of Top Chef DC and our chefs are back in the kitchen - and this week they are pissy.

Who wants to see if I am physically capable of doing a three minute "Top Chef" recap?

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SyFy Challenges Viewers to Create Their Own Movie

Syfy-logo You guys. This is it. This is our big chance. Last night, DinoShark appeared before me, awash in heavenly light, and said, "Raaaahhh!" And because I operate on a higher plane of existence, one where DinoShark and I dish, I knew that that meant, "Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their made-for-TV cinema!"

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June 23, 2010

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Revenge of the Squareboob Edition

Danielle-real-housewives-new-jersey Welcome to the first week of Real Housewives of New Jersey Minus One! Dina - aka Captain Zentastic - has left the show to focus on her family, her charity, and her horrifying cadre of hairless cats. Whatever shall we do? Wherever shall we go? There's only one way to find out, people: much like pulling off a band-aid or taking our first dip of the year into the chilly Atlantic, you've just gotta close your eyes... and go all-in.

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June 22, 2010

Subtext Pr0n: The Poster for Mad Men Season 4

Mad-men-season-4-poster The premiere of the fourth season of Mad Men is still over a month away. But the folks behind the promotions for the show are experts at the long tease. The poster for the new season was just released yesterday and doctoral candidates in Media Studies programs all over the country have already added a new chapter to their dissertations, loosely titled "Mommy Said You Broke the Hi-Fi: A Contextual Analysis of the Work/Life Balance of Mid-Century Upper Middle Class Americans and the Socioeconomic Impact of Smoking While Pregnant."

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Celebrity Kids Gone Bad: Jeremy London [Who is Jeremy London?]

Jeremy-london-small  No doubt you've read the gossip about the recent goings-on with Jeremy London.  Homegirl has gotten himself into a hot mess of an intricate situation that seems to have been devised by the writers of Six Feet Under, a four year old and a Choose Your Own Adventure book with half the pages missing. 

So, Jeremy London.  Aside from him being in the center of a riveting bad-accident-scene-type story, who the eff is Jeremy London?

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June 21, 2010

Three Minute Recap: Friday Night Lights "In The Bag"

FNL-vince-quarterback I barely know where to start, there was so much going on in Dillon this week, so let's just get straight to the best bits, shall we? Riggins, Riggins, Riggins, and, oh my succulent stars, Tim Riggins!

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True Blood Recap: Beautifully Broken

True-blood-tommy Nina Simone wrote this great song called "Mississippi Goddamn," which is an upbeat little tune about how messed up Ms. Simone's experiences in Mississippi were at the height of the Civil Rights Movement. Considering how Bill's visit to the Show Me Hospitality State* has gone so far, I'm thinking he may be borrowing a few bars from the High Priestess of Soul before too long.

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June 18, 2010

When Housewives Start Getting Real, Maybe We Should Stop Watching

Kelly-bensimon Last night's finale of the three-part Real Housewives of New York reunion again addressed the mental stability (or lack thereof) of castmember Kelly Killoren Bensimon. Bensimon spurred many a Twitter "OMGWTF" with her erratic, emotional behavior throughout this season of RHoNY, culminating in a full-on meltdown during a weekend getaway with other castmates, where she accused fellow Housewife Alex McCord of being a "vampire", claimed Housewife Bethenny Frankel was trying to kill her, and verbally spouted a lengthy barrage of incoherent thoughts that even confused Lost fans. I don't know about you guys, but that type of incident generally harshes the buzz of a beachfront vacay.

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June 17, 2010

Top Chef DC Recap: Episode 1, The First One

Top-chef-dc TOP CHEF D.C.! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Yes, I am excited. Of course the first episode is always a cluster you-know-what with 17 chefs to introduce us to and trying to get as many shots with the Capitol in the background as humanly possible.

Shut up. I can be cynical about Washington D.C. landmarks if I feel like it. I live here.

*spoiler alert*

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Top Ten Reasons Why I Should Be MTV'S New Twitter Jockey (or as Many as I Can Think of Until I Run Out.)

Mtv-original-vjs Do you want to be the modern day, virtual equivalent of Martha Quinn? 

Do you know who Martha Quinn is? 

Never mind. Proving that it is solidly on the social media tip, MTV is holding a competition to choose a Twitter Jockey - a TJ, if you will. 

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June 16, 2010

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: This Little Piggy Edition

Real-Housewives-New-Jersey-DinaEach week, as I watch Real Housewives of New Jersey, I can't help but think of Harlan Ellison. Wait! Wait! Don't run away! Stay with me here for a minute!

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June 15, 2010

NBC's 100 Questions - Why Did I Watch This Show?

OneHundredQuestions So, there I was. It was a hot Thursday night in the good old Midwest and I was bored something fierce. The summertime television schedule had already smacked my face like a pimp looking for his money. I had an unconscious, drooling baby affixed to my chest and the remote was nowhere in sight.  Panicked, I instantly yelled for my four year old to find the remote and neatly place it in my hand. Not tonight. He was already fast asleep in his bunkbed. My last option was the wifey. Nope. No help there either. "I'm in the shower!", she screamed back. 

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June 14, 2010

True Blood Recap: Bad Blood

True-blood-sookie-jessica-1Ah, at last. The long-awaited premiere of the third season of True Blood...when all of our shapeshifter/vampire sexual fantasies come true.

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