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Twilight Saga Archive

June 16, 2010

The Slo-Mo Walk: A Good Thing?

Robert-pattinson I've been watching a lot of Twilight lately. I've forbidden my husband from deleting it off the DVR and I've put a secret lock code on it because I don't trust him. The thing is, I don't really like Twilight that much. I think it's an extremely so-so movie with poor acting, laughable dialogue, and a distracting blue wash over the film that does a terrible job convincing me that sunny Oregon is actually rainy Forks. Why do I watch it then? I'm obsessed with the slo-mo walk.


March 31, 2010

New "Twilight: Eclipse" Stills

Eclipse1  Something for the spank bank! At least for those of you turned on by bad wigs and pasty skin. New stills from Twilight: Eclipse!


March 26, 2010

Robert Pattinson Hits Like Girl

RobertPattinson Ah, Robert Pattinson. He may be dreamy, he may be sparkly, he may be sexy and rich as hell, but he punches like a little girl.

RPattz said that the stunt personnel on the set of "Remember Me" laughed at him. They laughed at him when he had to punch them in the face for a fight scene.


March 25, 2010

Madame Tussaud's Unveils RPattz Wax Figure

Rpattz63  Okay, I psyched you guys out that one time with the Renee Zellweger thing, but this time it really is a wax figure. Did they capture his.. je ne sais quoi?


March 12, 2010

Attention Randy Cougars! The Full Twilight: Eclipse Trailer Has Arrived

Eclipse_thumbnail  Maybe next week they're release a three minute trailer with a 30-second tease earlier in the week OMG!


March 10, 2010

New "Eclipse" Trailer, Like OMG and Stuff

Eclipse Okay. It's only 10 seconds long. But it's got like, 10 hours worth of brooding. Emoting. Yearning. Oh, and Shirtless Jacob.


January 06, 2010

Bork! Bork! Bork! Or: How I Learned To Stop Being Afraid and Embrace Swedish Contributions To Our Culture

Swedish-chef The possible demise of Saab - thanks, GM! Good work! - does more than signal the potential end of a beloved-by-some automotive brand whose Scandinavian roots and design quirks established it as a driveway staple in... uh... driveways across... uh... Scandinavia. And, also, carefully demographically defined segments of North America. It also serves as a reminder of the great and subtle ways that Sweden has infiltrated multiple aspects of our culture, popular and otherwise.


January 05, 2010

Explain Celebrity Secret Couples To Me

Rob-and-kristen So, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. What the hell is up with them? They apparently greeted 2010 together off some little island in England, where they were of course spotted and of course ruthlessly tracked by every impressionable teenage girl in the area and......seriously, I don't get it. If they ARE together, could they possibly be stalked any more by the public-slash-paparazzi than they are now if they were to just ADMIT their coupling? And if they aren't together then why not go on record all official-like and maybe stop acting like they're together by getting all googly-eyed and hush-hush about the other.


December 30, 2009

Rumors Of Vision Quest Remake Are Giving Me Diarrhea.

Taylor_lautner_1203457045 Word on the street, is that Twilight hunk, Taylor Lautner, is up for the leading role in the remake of the 80's classic, coming of age movie, Vision Quest. The role was originally played by Matthew Modine. Lautner who is riding the wave of success from the popular Twilight saga movies, is rumored to be excited by the script and his possible involvement. The word from me, is that I think this whole idea sucks ass!


December 14, 2009

Team Jacob Takes Over Saturday Night Live

Saturday_night_live  It seems like even the cast of SNL doesn't give a shit anymore. Which is a shame, cause Taylor Lautner was on POINT this week. Click on through for a recap.


December 09, 2009

Nine Reasons I Am Not Going to See "New Moon" in the Theater

Twilight_new_moon_teaser_movie_poster I admit it. I read all four Twilight books. In fact, I read them all consecutively barely reading "The End" before I had the next one in my hand. I saw Twilight in the theater. It was the only movie I saw in a theater in 2008, but I am not going to see New Moon on the big screen. You want to know why?


December 07, 2009

Twilight Crime Wave Sweeps The Nation

Twilight_Pattinson_113x170 Burger King is reporting that multiple restaurants had life size posters of Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson stolen.  Right out of the window.  In broad daylight.  It is a wonder the vampire didn't melt, or something.


December 04, 2009

You Know Who's Thanking Tiger Woods Right Now? Every Other Celebrity.

Rob-Kristen-and-Taylor Especially those crazy, privacy-loving Twilight kids. It's been a couple weeks since the smash-hit release of New Moon and it looked like the buzz surrounding the actors was becoming such a constant in the press, we'd greet 2010 with a booming TEAMEDWARDJACOBBBBBBB but then Tiger went and ran his car and public image straight into a tree and all other paparazzi-hounded stars exhaled.


December 01, 2009

Breaking News: The Entire Cast of Twilight Is Gay

Robert_pattinson_taylor_lautner_kiss  Heh. Not really. Well, I don't actually know for sure, but it's statistically unlikely. Nevertheless here's the latest in Twilight-related gay rumors:


November 30, 2009

New Moon Owns the World Now. I Almost Review It.

New-moon1  I didn't see New Moon. Because of lots of reasons that I could write down and are probably misogynistic, but lets just say the main reason I'm not going is... and then I'll point at my crotch and wink and maybe do some pelvic thrusting, but just for fun.  So instead I'll do a second-hand review because my best friend went with a friend of hers and I gave her explicit instructions to only say nice things when she reported back, because beating up on New Moon for being a bad movie is like making fun of the star quarterback who has sex with a thousand girls a night because he isn't doing well in Spanish. Let's face facts. The Twilight francise is out-pacing The Dark Knight and Harry Potter in ticket sales. I'm sure the sting of another bad review is really gonna suck for them. No really. Stop laughing.


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