MamaPop™

This Week At The Bad Moms Club

 So what did we learn from our beloved sister site this week? LOADS of stuff, bullet-pointed and linked for your convenience! 

When Housewives Start Getting Real, Maybe We Should Stop Watching

Last night's finale of the three-part Real Housewives of New York reunion again addressed the mental stability (or lack thereof) of castmember Kelly Killoren Bensimon. Bensimon spurred many a Twitter "OMGWTF" with her erratic, emotional behavior throughout this season of RHoNY, culminating in a full-on meltdown during a weekend getaway with other castmates, where she accused fellow Housewife Alex McCord of being a "vampire", claimed Housewife Bethenny Frankel was trying to kill her, and verbally spouted a lengthy barrage of incoherent thoughts that even confused Lost fans. I don't know about you guys, but that type of incident generally harshes the buzz of a beachfront vacay.

Ozzy Osbourne's DNA to Be Mapped, Played Backwards to Find Satanic Messages

A group of scientists at a genetics firm have plans to analyze Ozzy Osbourne's genetic code purportedly to better understand how drugs are absorbed into the body. Osbourne was chosen for this project because of his notoriously excessive abuses and seemingly miraculous survival.

Tom Cruise Voo-Doos Hollywood into Les Grossman Movie.

 HAHAHAHAHA! Tom Cruise's Les Grossman character is HYSTERICAL. He's overweight and hairy and despicable and swears a lot and does unnecessary hip-hop dancing! Get it? He's white! Man! I haven't seen anything that funny since 7th grade when a bunch of bully assholes beat up a weak kid and then called him "Fag-aro" instead "Figgaro". Someone ought to make a movie about Les Grossman! Wait... What? I was being sarcastic! NO!

"Top Chef DC" Preview: Chef Fun Facts!

 I hope nobody was disappointed that I haven't been recapping "Top Chef Masters" but I have trouble tearing people apart who are already successful and doing all of these challenges for charity. That being said, next week "Top Chef DC" begins and I have zero issues making fun of folks who are on reality tv for profit, and I cannot wait.

Bret Easton Ellis Doesn't Think Too Highly of Female Directors

Perhaps I'm just getting bitter and/or more nonchalant in my old age, but when Bret Easton Ellis says stuff like he doesn't think, in general, that women can direct, I don't get angry. I just kind of shrug and tell him to quit talking and go write some messed up book for me to read kthanxbi.

Parenting Lindsay Lohan [Celebrity Kids Gone Bad]

Hey, it's Tuesday!  Guess what time it is?  That's right, it's that time for a series I just made up in my head: Celebrity Kids Gone Bad, wherein we play the hypothetical game.

What would you do if you woke up tomorrow morning and BAM!  You're suddenly Lindsay Lohan's parent?

I See Promises, Promises and Decide the Newsweek Writer is an Idiot

Last week newspapers, television, and pop culture at large was all up in arms over Ramin Setoodeh's opinion that openly gay Sean Hayes should not be playing a straight man in the new Broadway musical Promises, Promises. I saw the show this weekend. He's wrong.

If My Parents Named Me Guerdwich Montimere, I'd Be an Imposter, Too, If It Meant I Could Have a New Name

I loves me a good imposter story: Guerdwich Montimere, a 22-year-old former basketball player at Fort Lauderdale's Dillard High School was also, until recently, a 16-year-old high school basketball player named Jerry Joseph at Permian High School in Odessa, Texas.

For $16,000 You Can Look Like Jessica Rabbit - Sort Of

Annette Edwards has always loved Jessica Rabbit. Okay, maybe not always, but certainly since 1988.

What do you do when you adore and admire a cartoon character? Get a tattoo? Buy an original drawing? Oh, hell no. That is weak. You get plastic surgery to look like her. Duh.

Comedy Central Censors South Park Because Of Death Threats From Nerds Posing As Muslims

South Park has a long history of insulting religions because religious people are funny when they're mad. If religious people weren't so funny when they get all frothy and sputtery, South Park wouldn't make fun of them. But that's just not going to happen. For example, South Park pissed off some Muslims who want the creators dead. Like, dead dead. Because of a fucking cartoon. Yay monotheism!

The Ninja is all up in the Interweb: Worldwide

Warning: Once you have seen this video you cannot unsee it.

Warning #2: Once you have heard this song you cannot unhear it.

This song is the reason my daughter says "Go Ninja!" before she goes to bed at night.

Michael Jackson Inspired Cirque du Soliel Show, Joe Jackson Takes A Pass

Cirque du Soliel has signed a deal to take Michael Jackson's songs and dance moves, freak them up a bit, and turn the whole she-bang into a travelling circus and Las Vegas show. 

Joe Jackson, as usual, frowned his grumpy old man face and said "I won't see it."

Courtney Love is Dead, Long Live Courtney Michelle

Don't call her Courtney Love anymore. In an effort to rebrand herself, Courtney Love has elected to change her name back to Courtney Michelle.

Bob Dylan Is Still A Communist Threat But The Beatles Are No Longer A Hassle For Jesus

Bob Dylan is such a badass that China still fears him. However, in other 60s counterculture news, the Vatican finally made peace with the Beatles. "With all these pedophiles running around in vestments, who's got time to worry about the Beatles?" asked the Pope. Not really. But burn, man - I just burned the Pope hard.